Basketball Prospectus usually doesn't have much in terms of interesting information, but I'd like to direct you to Kevin Pelton's Olympic Recap. It looks like LeBron James was the most valuable player of the Olympics, statistically. To be fair, Dwyane Wade was better on a per-minute basis. Though both were head-and-shoulders above Kobe Bryant.

If you're interested, also look at the plus-minus numbers from the Olympics, on the APBRmetrics board.

Last updated: 4:25 AM

2:15 AM

Ni hao, bitches! It's basketball time at the Wukesong Culture and Sports Center! Don't the Chinese know it's 2:15 in the freaking morning?

Alex couldn't join us for this little festivity; apparently he's too girly a girlyman to stay up all night and watch King James make tapas out of a bunch of smelly Euros. But I'm here for you.

We at the Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times are nothing if not hell-bent on performing only one task at a time; that's why we've done so little "liveblogging" (as I believe it's known) in the four-year history of this blog (we've only ever liveblogged the NFL draft). That said, my research has shown that 2:30 in the morning on a Sunday is the peak time for all our most loyal readers to pop in for a quick Cleve-sports update. So I figured a Team LeBron game at this ungodly hour would be the absolute perfect time to make sure that you, dear readers, have access to real-time, up-to-the-minute updates and analysis. I know—it almost makes too much sense.

We're about 15 minutes away from tip-off. It's LeBron (and a various assortment of non-LeBron individuals) versus Spain's finest. A gold medal hangs in the balance. Let's get this mere formality rolling!

2:27AM

Your starting lineups:

• LeBron
• Kobe Bryant
• Carmelo Anthony
• Dwight Howard
• Jason Kidd

Why is Jason Kidd starting ahead of Chris Paul? There shouldn't even be a debate about this. I think Coach K knows this; Paul has been getting more minutes. But Kidd doesn't need special recognition. I'm not sure he even deserves a roster spot.

• Pau Gasol
• Felipe Reyes
• Juan Carlos Navarro
• Carlos Jimenez
• Ricky Rubio

Pau Gasol is good but has very few advantages over, say, Dwight Howard. Ricky Rubio is (I think) 12 years old. FYI, Jose Calderon is out of this game with an injury.

2:36 AM

The game is under way, but before we get too far along, I thought I'd offer a few statistics in the way of a preview. The excellent Basketball Prospectus has already published its own gold medal preview, courtesy of stat legend Kevin Pelton. Sufficed to say, the U.S. has a rather significant advantage over the Spanish.

In the Olympics so far, Team LeBron has scored 128.8 points per 100 possessions, ranking them dominantly at the top of the pack. Spain's offense, by comparison, has scored only 112.1 points per 100 possessions, ranking them 7th out of the 12 teams that began the tournament.

The U.S. defense, too, has been comically dominant. Having allowed only 92.2 points per 100 possessions, they blow away the next-best defense, which happens to be Spain's (100.9 points allowed per 100 possessions).

A hint to the American strategy for domination lies in their very high pace factor. The other 11 teams have run up pace factors ranging from 66.8 possessions per game (Croatia) to 74.4 (Australia). Spain's pace factor so far this tournament is 72.1 possessions per game. But the U.S. has averaged 80.9 possessions per game. In NBA terms (ie: if there were 48 minutes per game instead of 40) that would work out to a pace factor of 97.1, which wouldn't quite lead the NBA (last year, the Nuggets led with 99.7 possessions per game) but would certainly be near the top of the spectrum, and is unprecedented in the rather slow-paced international game, so I'm told.

Pushing the tempo is probably the best way to leverage the LeBron-embodied athleticism advantage. It's also probably a way to show the Euro teams a style they haven't combatted before. Spain will be the first team to get a second crack at the U.S., but still, a faster pace will certainly favor the good guys. Let's hope for a chance to watch LeBron and friends run the court like a pack of Red Bull-fueled Phoenix Suns in a Benny Hill montage.

2:40 AM

LeBron is unveiling a new shoe this morning, the LeBron James Gold Medal Shoe. He is also in early foul trouble, which has allowed Spain to a 19-16 lead with half a quarter elapsed.

2:55 AM

The U.S. didn't let that last long. But LeBron has been on the bench for nigh on 8 minutes. Why am I even doing this?

Some Spanish players have their first names on the back of their jerseys. Ricky Rubio, for example, wears "Ricky" and he also looks like a muppet. This and the slant-eyed photo op scandal have me thinking the Spanish players are kinda dumb. Just a knee-jerk reaction.

38-31 USA at the end of the first quarter. That's a lot of scoring for a 10-minute quarter!

2:58 AM

All Olympics long, NBA has made me the happiest fan in TV land by bringing back the old "NBA on NBC" theme music for all USA basketball games. It's possibly the greatest sports theme music ever written (and definitely the greatest ever written by John Tesh).

3:10 AM

LeBron came back to start the second quarter but it took Him until about the 5:23 mark to do anything particularly LeBron-like. He received a full court pass (there's that fast pace) in traffic and deposited an underhanded layup whilst being hacked by several Spaniards. A minute later he hit a three to put Team USA up by 14 (the largest lead so far).

3:20 AM

Trying to make this Cleveland-centric (that is, relevant to our blog)...

Certainly, no other American-born Cavaliers deserve Olympic roster spots, but might Team Lithuania be playing in this gold medal game right now if Zydrunas Ilgauskas had agreed to play? Not that I'm complaining.

Sasha Pavlovic and Anderson Varejao, too, would most likely be starters on their respective national teams, except that neither Brazil nor Serbia qualified for the Olympics.

I can only think of one American-born Cavalier with the ethnic background that might enable to him to pull a Chris Kaman (ie: play for a country he's never lived in, just because his ancestors lived there), and that's Wally Szczerbiak. Alas, don't expect to see Team Poland competing in the London Olympics (or ever).

3:32 AM

It's halftime, the score 69-61 in favor of the Redeem Team (still not sure how I feel about that nickname). The Chosen One is 3-for-4 with 8 points (having hit 2 threes), with an assist and 2 steals. The USA at large has gone 8-for-14 from behind the 3-point line. I can't say for sure (and I'm definitely not going to check), but I'd guess this was the highest-scoring half of the tournament so far. In an NBA-length game, the score would be 83-73 right now (en route to a 166-146 final score). Remember, it's halftime! The pace has certainly been fast, but the defense has also been pretty bad. And some lucky shots have been falling. An interesting, if dangerous, combination...

I'm used to liveblogging a fast-paced, whirlwind event such as the NFL Draft (where we might have as little as three-to-six hours in between Browns draft picks), but this is much harder. I can hardly keep up. What exactly is supposed to be the appeal of liveblogging, anyway? I guess it has something to do with witty commentary about trivial details, like things the announcers say, or how Ricky Rubio resembles a muppet (it's the eyebrows). Well excuuuse me—it's 3:30 in the morning!

3:36 AM

Someone is reading this liveblog—live! Our most loyal reader, Anonymous, posted a comment at 3:22 AM. What is wrong with you, man? You are simultaneously invalidating my entire ridiculous premise, making me giddy, and encouraging what could potentially be a dangerous habit! If there's anyone else reading this right now (and I do mean right now) please identify yourself! And your current time zone, you freak!

3:40 AM

7:20 left in the third quarter and Spain has pulled to within three. I knew I'd have to stay up late, but I didn't think I'd have to pay attention.

Both the Spanish and the American uniforms are hideous. The Spanish jerseys have a ridiculous "futuristic" font. The Team USA uniforms (both home and away) are covered in some kind of wallpaper pattern (you can only see it when you see the fabric up close).

3:48 AM

Spain is hanging around, 3-4 points off the lead, as the teams trade baskets. The pace is still very fast, but more noticeably, the U.S. is not playing its customary great defense. LeBron has just started to go into His "Screw it, I'm scoring" mode.

3:52 AM

Another comment from a reader! Hi Kyle! To answer your question, Spain could be complaing to the refs more than they already are. They could be Team Argentina ("I don't do nooothing!!!"), or worse, the San Antonio Spurs. Though, to be fair, I don't see much difference between Team Argentina and the Spurs.

3:59 AM

End of the third, with Team LeBron up 91-82. I am starting to wonder how I am going to make it to a 10:00 AM brunch at my dad's house...

4:01 AM

Spain just hit a 3 to cut the lead to 2. On offense, Team USA is settling for long jump shots (which worked for them in the first half) but I would be much more comfortable if they'd just let LeBron shove it down Pau Gasol's gullet. No offense to Kobe Bryant or whoever else, but I'm in this for LeBron. C'mon LeBron... take over... take over...

4:05 AM

The uprising is being quelled, and (only somewhat regrettably) it's Kobe leading the charge. Though, LeBron did just lay one in to make it 103-92. 5:18 to go.

4:14 AM

Kobe just hit a 3 with 3 minutes to go, extending the lead back to 8. If the lead holds, Kobe is going to be remembered as the hero of this squad (such as there can be one when you win most of your games by 30 points).

Now Dwyane Wade just hit a 3 to extend the lead back to 7. Sorry... it takes me more time to type than it takes the players to do stuff (at this frenetic tempo anyway).

4:17 AM

A minute to go, 8 point lead. Spain is now fouling on every possession. This looks to be about over.

4:25 AM

It's over! Final score: USA 118, Spain 107. I may be back with some analysis tomorrow... er, later today, but right now I'm going to ge;t soh gjhsle[ vnsflkns zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(That's my head falling coincidentally, and with uncanny precision, on the "z" key. Pay no attention to this part of the message. I am writing it in my sleep. Please join me next time as I liveblog the 4 AM infomercials on Sports Time Ohio.)

I am open to the idea of uniform innovation, even for a team such as the Browns, whose uniform is notable only for its refusal to change. But uniform innovations these days—in all sports, but especially in the NFL—seem to be designed without regard for what actually looks good. Now kindly get off my lawn.

Seriously, I might be okay with brown pants if they were brown, and not... light black black. More importantly, I would only be okay with brown pants if they were worn with the striped socks. The all-brown socks are ugly enough with the regular pants; with matching all-brown (but more black-looking) pants, the Browns have fallen into the same trap as too many other NFL teams. What is this, Jacksonville?

Update: it seems the Browns have created a poll for collecting feedback on the brown pants. Sadly, there is no option for "try them with striped socks," so I voted "I'd rather not see them again."

It's been far too long since the last Mascot Power Rankings—21 months, in fact—and meanwhile, the Cleveland Mascot Landscape has undergone Earth-shaking changes, the effects of which can still be felt as far away as Port Burwell. Here they are—your long-overdue Mascot Power Rankings, 2008:

1. Slider
   Previous rank: 1
   
   
   
   Slider has held the Cleveland Mascot crown for more than 200 years now, ever since Moses Cleaveland's death in 1806 necessitated the permanent "retirement" of his alter-ego, Bushie the Burning Bush. But I digress. Slider is the ultimate in mascot achievement. He is the alpha, the omega, the light at the top of the Key Tower, the twinkle in your eye, the first day of summer; in short, the Fuchsia One.
   
   
2. Mustard
   Previous rank: N/A
   
   
   
   It warms my heart that noble Mustard is able to make his Mascot Power Rankings debut in this lofty position, once reserved for a certain beloved, be-monocled one (see "Honorable Mentions" below). Mustard is more than just a giant anthropomorphic hot dog-cum-racing enthusiast. He is a symbol of our hard-working city and its upstanding condiments.
   
   
3. Moondog
   Previous rank: 3
   
   
   
   Moondog still has a lot of room for improvement (if you've seen his trampoline dunk routine, you know what I mean), but give him credit for resiliency and relative versatility. Also for getting to high-five LeBron before every game. In fact, that's probably all it would take to earn oneself a #3 ranking.
   
   
4. CB, Chomps, TD and Trapper
   Previous rank: 4
   
   
   
   Unlike Mustard, Ketchup and Onion, I feel perfectly comfortable grouping these four dastardly dawgs into a single entity, because honestly: they're 100% interchangeable. If you actually know which one is which, you need to see a doctor or something. Further, the quartet of CB, TD, EKG, and Scrappy-Doo (or whatever their names are) desperately needs some kind of trademark. A move, a dance, a bark, a line of scented bath salts, it doesn't matter. There is growth potential here, but 2008 ought to be a make-or-break season for these four.
   
   
5. Onion
   Previous rank: N/A
   
   
   
   Onion deserves credit for finally breaking Cleveland's mascot gender barrier (previously, we had only "vaguely male...ish"), but as a competitor in the Progressive Field hot dog race, she's no more than a harmless annoyance. She's like the Clippers. I suspect she brings in the "giant anthropomorphic food fetish" demographic, what with her tremendous sex appeal (I shudder to think of the Google searches that will lead people to this post in the future). But until Onion starts winning (or repeatedly bashing Ketchup on the head with that pocket book of hers), she's going to have a hard time moving up the ol' Power Rankings.
   
   
6. Skipper
   Previous rank: 5
   
   
   
   Skipper is like a severely watered-down and classless version of his overlord, Slider. In some ways, he's perfectly suited for the Captains games, in that he has a definite minor league quality to him. Unfortunately, he's been a prospect for so long now, I just don't see him ever developing the skills he'll need to make it to the Majors.
   
   
7. Orbit
   Previous rank: 6
   
   
   
   I haven't been to an Aeros game in a while. Is Orbit even still around? For the moment, I will assume that he is, and once again point out that he is the most boring mascot in th... huh, wha? Oh sorry, I fell asleep there. To give you the gist: the team is the Aeros, the mascot is Orbit, why is he not an alien?! He is a cat. Almost any other creature known to man (or unknown to man) would be preferable.
   
   
8. Sullivan C. Goal
   Previous rank: N/A
   
   
   
   What an insult. Just when we were starting to pull ourselves together over the loss of one of the great mascots in history (again... see below), the Lake Erie Monsters completely blew their chance to win us over. The team is called the Monsters, for crying out loud. If you don't see tremendous mascot potential there, there's something wrong with you. Sullivan C. Goal (worst name ever, by the way) is nothing more than a generic, monocle-less... seagull. I feel so hollow inside.
   
   
9. Ketchup
   Previous rank: N/A
   
   
   
   This cheating, lying, stealing charlatan of a mascot doesn't even deserve to be included in these Power Rankings, what with the Cleveland-wide Ketchup Boycott currently in full effect (keep sendin' in those Ketchup Boycott photos and anecdotes, folks!), but the Progressive Field mascot handlers (long ago having been bought off with tainted Pittsburgh Ketchup Lobby money) continue to allow Ketchup to race despite the obvious grounds for disqualification. So here we are. Ketchup ranks dead last, where he will remain until the end of time. I hope you're happy, evil ketchup barons.
   
   

Honorable Mentions (A.K.A. Our Fallen Comrades)

• SlapShark
  Previous rank: 2
  
  
  
  Oh, SlapShark. How we miss you so. You were the greatest shark with a monocle in the entire history of the universe. And your DoubleCapital shone like a beacon of light upon this great land. I have come to terms with the fact that you may never ice skate again, but I will never forget you!
  
  
• Dog Ball
  Previous rank: N/A
  
  
  
  Alex covered the genius that is Dog Ball quite excellently in a March 2007 post. Sufficed to say, you cannot understand what makes Dog Ball so awesome until you actually see him perform. It's mesmerizing. Alas, I did not see Dog Ball at any of the Cavaliers' 2007-08 home games, so I'm inclined to think he may have called it a career. Can anyone confirm or deny this? In the meantime, let's hold out hope that the Quicken Loans Arena management sees fit to coax Dog Ball out of retirement.

Friends, we're coming deliciously close to a Clevelander's favorite time of year: the start of football season. The early signs are all upon us... Browns training camp updates are showing up on the nightly news, the Indians have forfeited the rest of their season (I cannot actually confirm this; I'm just assuming), Josh's Cribbs reruns are being peppered into FSN Ohio's lineup... and, of course, Madden NFL 09 is about to hit the shelves (August 12).

Madden's a great game, but it's not perfect. You may recall that each year around this time, I get to publish one of my favorite annual blog posts: pointing out the ridiculous, arbitrary weirdness in the new Madden ratings for Browns players.

The weirdness stems from the fact that every player in the game, regardless of position, gets a rating, from 0 to 100, in every category. For me, it's typified by my discovery (two years ago) that Madden 07 had, for some reason, singled out Lee Suggs—the running back—as the single worst kicker—yes, kicker—in all the NFL. Why Madden didn't decide to rate all running backs (say) equally atrocious kickers, we'll never know.

This year, the Browns are actually expected to be (oh man...) good. Might that have forced the Madden engineers to pay more attention to their Frankensteinian experiments on the ol' Cleveland roster? Let's review the highlights...

• First things first. The Browns' best overall players are Joe Thomas and Kellen Winslow (both 97s), who are tied as the 18th-best players in the NFL. Braylon Edwards and Eric Steinbach are next (both 95s), then Shaun Rogers (94).
• Phil Dawson leads the Browns in "morale" (99). Only one player in the entire NFL has better "morale" than Human Phil (that being Jets backup RT Wayne Hunter—duh—whose "morale" is a perfect 100). The next most moral Browns are Braylon Edwards and Sean Jones (97), then (miraculously) rookie DT Ahtyba Rubin (96)! How does Madden know so much about Ahtyba's personality traits? (Not from attending the Rubin family reunion, let me assure you!) The answer, as always: scouting.
• Kellen Winslow has the 6th-worst morale (45) in the whole NFL. He still leads Ochenta y Cinco (20) by a healthy margin.
• For the third consecutive year, Madden has chosen to single out Ken Dorsey as being uniquely horrible at most things that aren't quarterbacking (as a quarterback, he's no prize, either—he has the worst "throw power" of any QB in the game—but at least his ratings make sense). Dorsey is alone in having the worst "pass block" (5), "pass block strength" (5), "pass block footwork" (5) and "stiff arm" (8) in the league. He is tied with 2 others for worst "run block" (7), "run block strength" (7), "run block footwork" (7) and "impact blocking" (7) in the NFL. Personally, I would love to get a look at the scouting tape of Ken Dorsey practicing his stiff arm, but then, I don't have the resources Madden has.
• Braylon Edwards is the NFL's second-best jumper (99), trailing only Randy Moss. But wait! Edwards rates a perfect 100 in "spectacular catch" (the only player with such a rating) while Moss's catches are apparently only 99% spectacular.
• Sadly, Josh Cribbs is only the second-best kick returner (98), as he trails Devin Hester (99). The analytically-minded know Cribbs' 2007 left Hester (in fact, all returners in NFL history) in the dust, but that's not the way the public perceives things.
• Joe Thomas is the 4th-most injury-resistant player in the NFL (98). Gary Baxter (40) and LeCharles Bentley (45) should not even be on the Browns roster; nevertheless, their "injury" ratings tie them for worst and 3rd-worst in the NFL, respectively.
• Kellen Winslow is tied for the league lead in toughness (99). Andra Davis is somehow tied for having the 3rd-worst toughness (50) in the NFL.
• No Browns player cracks the top 77 in "importance". More to the point, there is now a Madden player rating category called "importance". I am currently accepting suggestions for what this might mean—both in the world of Madden and for society at large. Shaun Rogers is the most "important" Brown (88).
• Kellen Winslow is one of 22 players who is a 99 in "celebration". More to the point, there is now a Madden player rating category called "celebration". Dave Zastudil and LeCharles Bentley are 2 out of 37 players who rate a zero in celebration. It hardly seems possible that an NFL player, even a punter, could be a zero in anything. To me, it means that the creators of Madden are unable to even conceive of a worse celebrator, whether that hypothetical person is currently in the NFL, or currently works for Fremulon Insurance.
• Melila Purcell is tied with one other guy for having the worst "spin move" in the NFL (5). This comes as no surprise to a battle-tested Browns analyst such as myself.
• Joe Thomas (97) and Eric Steinbach (96) are #1 and #2 in the NFL in "run block footwork". Yet somehow, Steinbach is only 3rd on his own team in plain old "run block" (91), while Thomas is sixth on his own team (88).
• Averaging the ratings for every player, the Browns have the 5th-best "overall" rating (81.037) behind the Patriots, Giants, Cowboys and Packers.
• The Browns' average "injury" rating is dead last in the NFL (84.852).

Here's a summary of the Browns' rankings in every single category, averaging all players on each team together. I realize this is pretty meaningless, as it weights everyone on a given roster equally, but it's still amusing.

                 Browns avg.  Rank
Overall            81.037       5
Morale             90.963      19
Speed              75.111      22
Acceleration       80.037      25
Strength           72.241       5
Agility            73.815      27
Awareness          72.741       3
Catching           50.352      28
Carrying           55.852      23
Throw power        28.241      12
Throw accuracy     28.556       7
Kick power         22.593      24
Kick accuracy      22.241      24
Run block          42.704      23
Pass block         36.741      23
Tackle             49.889      14
Jumping            64.407      26
Kick return        28.481      19
Injury             84.852      32
Stamina            83.074      29
Toughness          78.370      29
Importance         55.926      20
Celebration        74.574      16
Trucking           31.870      23
Elusiveness        50.907      19
BC vision          37.556      24
Stiff arm          29.593      27
Spin move          37.648      29
Juke move          44.093      19
Impact blocking    45.981      22
Run blk strength   45.648      23
Run blk footwork   42.796      19
Pass blk strength  39.852      27
Pass blk footwork  37.500      18
Power moves        37.463       8
Finesse moves      37.296      18
Block shedding     49.093      12
Pursuit            49.519      20
Play recognition   43.000       4
Man coverage       34.130      15
Zone coverage      37.167      25
Spectacular catch  29.778      25
Catch in traffic   29.148      25
Route running      27.889      27
Hit power          39.704      21
Press              27.611      20
Release            29.630      17

From this, we can safely predict that the Browns will enjoy a season of mixed results, highlighted by their uncanny play recognition and throwing accuracy, as they struggle to overcome their embarrassing spin move and route running problems. Should be a good one!

On this most revered of days, I wanted to share with you something to uplift your spirits. The meaningless regular season game that surely needs no introduction:



Have a wonderful Comeback Day!

Even in this era of infrequent blog posting and high gas prices, Alex and I get a ton of reader mail. Unfortunately, we could never hope to respond to all of it, what with Alex's 13 jobs, my business travel in Eastern Europe, caring after Gomer (the secret black sheep Rubin brother), karate practice, surveying the Cuyahoga River watershed, writing our murder mystery about the Cleveland striped-socks industry, and, of course, "Inspector Gadget" reruns.

So a few years ago, we instituted a policy of mass-answering the truly pressing Browns, Cavaliers and Indians questions (during the Browns' bye week, NBA All-Star break, and MLB All-Star break, respectively). This year, the MLB All-Star Game came and went, and well, we forgot. But that's okay! Here are our responses to your very own Indians queries:

Hello Mistake by the Lake Times,

Trading C.C. Sabathia was one thing, because the Indians are obviously not going anywhere this year. But I don't think they should have traded Casey Blake. He was the ultimate gamer, and the real heart and soul of the team. What do you guys think?

Mario
North Royalton, OH

Corey says: Every team has a player who's supposedly valuable in an unquantifiable way. His attitude is so positive, he makes everyone else better. I shouldn't have to tell you, I don't really buy this. It might be true that Casey Blake did have the best attitude of anyone on the Indians (though how would you even know, Mario?) but if that were the case, I believe its effect on overall team performance would have been imperceptible, which is a nice way of saying it would have no effect. After all, anything—anything—that is supposedly tied to on-the-field performance in any way, will show up in the numbers. If Casey Blake's warming glow is supposed to make Asdrubal Cabrera hit better, then (a) Asdrubal must be a much worse hitter than we previously thought, and (b) we're about to see Asdrubal tough it out on his own now, no help from Casey. It's going to get ugly! Of course, I don't think anyone actually believes that any of the remaining Indians' individual performances are necessarily going to get worse between now and the end of the season. And if they don't, then what was the point of clinging to the so-called "intangibles" guy in the first place?

Yo dudes,

Should Grady be batting third? Because I think he should be in the leadoff spot. Wedge could ruin Grady by trying to make him something he's not.

Marvin Spilborghs
Doan's Corners

Alex says: WHO CARES.

Now, seriously, I realize that "who cares" is actually a question and as such, should have been followed by a question mark. I decided to go with a period. My reasoning was that I wanted to convey that I'm not actually interested in anyone else's response. I had already made up my mind. It's something of a rhetorical device, conveniently called a rhetorical question. I hope that clears everything up, Marvin.

Rubin brothers,

Is it just me, or did some of the Rays' coaching staff look distracted during the Indians-Rays game on July 10? There was something about them, like they could care less about the action on the field. I'm not complaining—the Indians went on to win, obviously. But it was weird, you know what I mean?

B. Ki-moon
New York, NY

Corey says: Ki-moon, you must be referring to Rays first base coach (and former Indians All-Star outfielder) George Hendrick. As a matter of fact, as I sat in my field-level loge seat, I did notice him to be somewhat distracted the night of July 10. Something about the way he tapped on the Plexiglas dividing our loge from the visitors' dugout, or the way he pantomimed that he wanted some of the carrot cake being enjoyed by the woman sitting in front of me, or the way the carrot cake was passed to him over the top of the Plexiglas, or the way Hendrick consumed the carrot cake over the course of the next few innings, or the way he repaid the woman by autographing a baseball. It's hard to put a finger on it.

Dear Sports by the Lake Sporting Mistakes,

If you'd told me four months ago that an Indians pitcher would be the favorite for the AL Cy Young, that it wouldn't be C.C. or Carmona, and that the Indians would be in last place, I'd say you were totally crazy!

Fyodor
Grottoes, VA

Alex says: Great question, Fyodor! If you had told me five billion years ago that the Earth was going to be formed and that life would flourish on it, and humans would eventually come to dominate the planet, in the process producing magnificent works of art and science, while also slaughtering millions, I would've said you were totally crazy!

Hey Cory and Alix,

Speaking of Cliff Lee, do you think he can win the Cy Young? Will he have enough wins?

Julie Davner
New Tazewell, TN

Alex says: Much as the M.V.P. Award isn't necessarily for the best player, but the most valuable, the Cy Young doesn't go to the best pitcher. It goes to the one who is most like Cy Young. Young was, of course, a great pitcher, so in normal times a pitcher need only be great to win the award. In 2008 though there are too many great pitchers in the A.L. to choose from. I think voters will have to look at other criteria. What would be the clearest way to be similar to Young?



To look like him! As you can see, both Lee and Young threw baseballs with only one arm, while wearing a uniform, hat, and mitt. It's uncanny! I'd say Lee has as good a chance as any. And, according to some guy, it's "still his race to lose." What a relief! I mean start! (Get it? He's a starter!)

Dear Sirs,

I feel that you have been unfair in your characterization of America's favorite condiment: Ketchup. Ketchup is, and always has been, a true patriot and an inspiration to millions of children worldwide. Further, your allegations of cheating in the Progressive Field hot dog race are simply the product of a vivid imagination gone wild.

Meanwhile, your so-called hero, Mustard, has repeatedly refused to comment on the fact that no one is accusing him of cheating. What does Mustard have to hide, I ask? Until liberal biases such as your own are put in check, I fear a God-fearing condiment such as Ketchup will never get the respect he deserves.

H.W. Henchfield
VP of Public Relations
Ketchup For a Better America
Pittsburgh, PA

Corey says: Oh, you fear? I suppose you would know nothing about the ketchup-stained death threats that have been appearing on my doorstep the last few weeks. Let it be known to all who read this blog that I will not be intimidated by Big Ketchup. And make no mistake, the rest of Indians nation is catching on, too, in case you missed Tom Hamilton's latest Ketchup diatribe (on Monday night's Indians broadcast).

Readers, the time is ripe for a ketchup boycott—Cleveland-wide. Starting today, tell your friends, enemies, neighbors and co-workers that until the situation at Progressive Field changes for the better, we are no longer in the ketchup-consuming business. It's going to be tough, I know, but Clevelanders are nothing if not tough.

Incidentally, feel free to send in your Ketchup Boycott anecdotes and photographs—eye-witness accounts of ketchup rejection, tips on other condiments to use, photos of heartless scabs, intent upon keeping the ketchup trade alive. I'll be sure to post any materials you send in. Long live Mustard!