Down the stretch we come---it's part 9 in our 10-part Jersey Numbers series. First, as usual, links to the previous installments, for those who need catching up:

1. The Jersey Numbers: 0 to 9
2. The Jersey Numbers: 10 to 19
3. The Jersey Numbers: 20 to 29
4. The Jersey Numbers: 30 to 39
5. The Jersey Numbers: 40 to 49
6. The Jersey Numbers: 50 to 59
7. The Jersey Numbers: 60 to 69
8. The Jersey Numbers: 70 to 79

The higher jersey numbers have generally only been worn by football players, so once again, it's Browns and more Browns. By now you may have noticed a pattern. In the #50's we covered many of the great Browns centers. In the #60's, guards. In the #70's, tackles, both offensive and defensive. So this time we move outside one more slot, for the ends. Remember, offensive ends are what they used to call wideouts. And until about 1980, they shared their jersey numbers with their defensive counterparts.

Here are your honorees.

#80 - Len Ford

Browns, '50-'57

The greatest defensive player in Browns history? I would say so. Ford may even have a legitimate claim to the title of greatest defensive end ever. His specialty was the pass rush; it's quite unfortunate for us that no sack totals were recorded back then. Ford was known for leap-frogging blockers in order to get to the quarterback faster. Can you imagine, say, Dwight Freeney leaping over the head of a big offensive tackle? It was actually because of Ford that the 4-3 defense was born. He made the 6-man defensive line unnecessary, allowing Paul Brown to move two linebackers off the line. Needless to say, Ford is one of the 15 Browns in the Hall of Fame, and really deserves to have his jersey number retired. For him to be dethroned as the greatest #80 in Cleveland history, Kellen Winslow would probably have to become the greatest tight end in NFL history. That, or LeBron would have to switch numbers.

Runners-up: Bill Glass (Browns, '62-'68): is probably the second-best defensive end in Browns history. Warren Lahr (Browns, '48-'59): was one of the better cornerbacks in team history, but only wore #80 for three seasons.

#81 - Jack Gregory

Browns, '67-'71, '79

Jack Gregory is another of the Browns' greatest defensive ends, and also one of the greatest Browns to have attended college in Cleveland (Cleveland, Mississippi, that is--he went to Delta State). His Browns career peaked in 1969, when he reached the Pro Bowl, and in 1970, when he recorded 14 sacks, the second-most in a single season by a Brown (that we know of, of course). Gregory was traded away before he achieved his true peak (which came as a New York Giant), although in return, the Browns did get Greg Pruitt (in the form of a draft pick).

Runners-up: Antonio Bryant (Browns, '04-'05): has amassed 28.8 DPAR in his 1.5 seasons as a Brown, compared to Quincy Morgan's -2.8 in 3.5 seasons. Oscar Roan (Browns, '75-'78): started at tight end in the late 70's. Harry Holt (Browns, '83-'86): was the #2 tight end in the mid-80's.

#82 - Ozzie Newsome

Browns, '78-'90

Saying Ozzie Newsome is the greatest tight end in Browns history is like saying Slyman's is the best place to get a corned beef sandwich in the vicinity of St Clair and E. 30th. Newsome is in fact one of the greatest tight ends in NFL history, if not the greatest. His 662 career receptions were, for a long time, the most ever by a tight end, and are now second-most, behind Shannon Sharpe (and will fall to third-most next season, once Tony Gonzalez catches 15 more passes). They're also the most catches ever by a Brown at any position--exactly twice as many as the next guy (Gary Collins). Not surprisingly, Newsome was a wide receiver throughout college, until Browns coach Sam Rutigliano decided to make him bulk up after being drafted. Ozzie's #82 most definitely deserves to be retired, too. You hear me, stingy Browns executives?

Runners-up: Jim Houston (Browns, '60-'72): is one of the greatest linebackers in team history. Tommy James (Browns, '48-'55): wore #82 for his first four seasons and is one of the better cornerbacks in team history.

#83 - Johnny Brewer

Browns, '61-'67

Brewer began his career as a tight end back when tight ends were not very well established, or even common, in the NFL. He is probably the third-best tight end in Browns history, albeit in an admittedly weak field. When Milt Morin joined the team in Brewer's sixth year, however, Johnny became a linebacker--and made the Pro Bowl! Not many players have ever made the Pro Bowl playing a position other than the one for which they are primarily remembered, especially when that other position is on the other side of the ball.

Runners-up: Ricky Feacher (Browns, '76-'84): ranks third in Browns history with 18.44 career yards per catch. Chip Glass (Browns, '69-'73): was solid as a backup tight end for several years.

#84 - Paul Wiggin

Browns, '57-'67

Yet another of the Browns' greatest defensive ends, Paul Wiggin was actually drafted by Paul Brown (with whom he had a contentious relationship) a year before he was to finish college, which in those days meant the Browns had to wait a year before Wiggin could suit up for them. Once Wiggin joined the team, though, he played in every game for 11 straight seasons, all of them in Cleveland. He made the Pro Bowl roster twice: in 1965 and 1967 (when he was one of three Browns defensive linemen on the roster).

Runners-up: Webster Slaughter (Browns, '86-'91): was one of the stars of the Kosar-era offense. Horace Gillom (Browns, '47-'56): is perhaps the greatest punter in Browns history and was already named the best #59 in Cleveland history.

#85 - Kevin Johnson

Browns, '99-'03

Thus far, not surprisingly, I have only crowned one "New Brown" the best at his jersey number, and even that one was regrettable (awarded only due to weak competition). Kevin Johnson now becomes the second, which means I finally have a football player to talk about whose career occurred during the DVOA era, which means I can finally quote some statistics that actually mean something. Individual receiving statistics for 1999 are conspicuously missing from the Football Outsiders website, but from 2000 to 2003, KJ totaled 34.4 DPAR with a DVOA somewhere just below league average. Considering the quality of the passers who were throwing him the ball, that's pretty good. His best season, by far, was 2001, when he finished with 30.2 DPAR and a DVOA of 20.3%. After 2001, Johnson's career really took a turn for the worse, but for his first three seasons, he was a productive receiver and one of the only bright spots on some of the worst football teams in recent memory.

Runners-up: Dave Logan (Browns, '76-'83): was one of Brian Sipe's more prolific targets. Clarence Weathers (Browns, '85-'88): was the fourth receiver during the early Kosar years.

#86 - Gary Collins

Browns, '62-'71

Here we come to one of the deeper jersey number talent pools in Browns history. Among those to wear #86 were the men who rank 1st, 3rd, 8th and 10th among Browns wide receivers, according to Ace Davis, not to mention the aforementioned Paul Wiggin (for two seasons) and Dennis Northcutt. I'm giving the nod to Gary Collins over Dante Lavelli, who had the better overall career, because Collins wore #86 for all 10 of his seasons while Lavelli only wore it for 5 of his 11. Collins is not only the franchise leader in touchdown receptions and a 2-time Pro Bowler as a receiver, he was the Browns' punter for six years.

Runners-up: Dante Lavelli (Browns, '46-'56): is perhaps the greatest wide receiver in Browns history. Brian Brennan (Browns, '84-'91): was a key contributor to the late 80's offense. Dub Jones (Browns, '48-'55): only wore #86 for his first four seasons.

#87 - Andre Davis

Browns, '02-'04

Wow, two New Browns in one day! Excitingly, not only can I cite fancy new-fangled statistics in talking about Andre Davis' career as a Brown, I can use them to show that he was one of the most underrated players in the NFL during those years. In three seasons, Andre racked up 34.5 DPAR despite spending his first season listed fourth on the depth chart, and missing much of his third season with an injury. In his amazing 2003 season, Andre was the second-best receiver in the NFL on a per-play basis, with a DVOA of 34.4%. The following year, his DVOA of 34.1% would have ranked him 7th in the NFL, had he been thrown enough passes to qualify. And he did all this in spite of some rather pedestrian catch percentages, meaning he gained more yards and was more likely to get a first down or touchdown on the ones he did catch than we might expect. And yes, I'm still a little bitter about the idiotic trade that sent Davis to New England this past preseason.

Runners-up: Keenan McCardell (Browns, '92-'95): began his long career in Cleveland but didn't get much playing time until 1995.

#88 - Darrel Brewster

Browns, '52-'58

Also known as Pete Brewster, Darrel Brewster was a member of a receiving corps that included Dante Lavelli, Ray Renfro, Mac Speedie, and Dub Jones, yet he managed to lead the team in both receptions and receiving yards three years in a row! Even more remarkably, his average yards per catch during his career as a Brown is higher than that of Lavelli, Jones, or Speedie. Only Renfro, who has the highest yards per catch in Browns history (among those with at least 100 receptions), was better in that area. So how come no one ever talks about Darrel (or Pete) Brewster? Ace Davis ranks him 9th among Browns receivers, behind all four of his aforementioned teammates. I think we have ourselves an unsung hero.

Also, briefly, I'd like to give special mention to Rene Gonzales, who wore #88 in 30 plate appearances for the 1994 Indians, the highest jersey number ever worn by an Indian and the second-highest ever worn by a professional Cleveland athlete not a Brown. Rene hit .348/.448/.609 as an Indian; one wonders why his stint was so short.

Runners-up: Reggie Langhorne (Browns, '85-'91): was another key contributor to the late 80's offense. Brian Kinchen (Browns, '91-'95): was solid as both a tight end and a long snapper. Rich Kreitling (Browns, '59-'63): was a solid receiver during the Milt Plum years.

#89 - Milt Morin

Browns, '66-'75

In terms of production, Morin is undeniably the second-best tight end in Browns history. And while that's not necessarily much of an endorsement, he was quite a solid player, even if he was no Ozzie Newsome. He ranks eighth on the Browns' all-time receiving yardage list, and second among tight ends. His best season came in 1968, when he set career highs in catches, yards, yards per catch, and touchdowns. His career yards per catch of 15.5 is actually higher than Newsome's, so maybe he was better than we give him credit for.

Runners-up: Gerald McNeil (Browns, '86-'89): remains one of the better kick returners in franchise history.

First of all, I apologize for my extended absence. I had to attend to business in Bulgaria. This is a project I've put off for LeBron knows how long, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Corey and I consciously avoid being a rumor mill or breaking news web site, so I've avoided writing about all 3,000 permutations of the Coco Crisp deal until something official. Needless to say, I'm still very excited about the deal.

To take our troubled minds off the masturbatory trade fantasies of sports talk radio callers, let's take a look at one of the many small joys in life: professional athletes trying to act. Sure there are luminaries like John Salley, Rick Fox, Malik Sealy, Mark Jackson, Dwayne Schintzius, and Greg Ostertag in that 1996 classic, Eddie. But when was the last time a Cleveland athlete took to the silver screen? Why, you'd have to go back to Jim Brown, All-American. Ever since, Clevelanders have lusted to see one of their favorite sons try the acting trade, but to no effect.

Luckily, there is always the small screen for athletes. Local merchants love to have them be spokesmen because they're recognizable and come cheap, presumably. The list compiled here is far less than encyclopædic, but hopefully brings back fond memories. Mind you, my recollection of commercials can only go so far back. I would love to know if a Craig Ehlo or Alex Cole ever shilled on television. Now, please enjoy this bit of nostalgia.

• Julian Tavarez for BW3. This ad most memorably features Tavarez holding up a barbeque sauce-stained baseball and saying in his thick Dominican accent, "Well, maybe not during the game for me!" I also remember the disembodied announcer beginning the spot with a hearty "Hey Julian!" (as one would pronounce Julia Childs) with Tavarez responding, "No, es Julian" (like Julio Franco). Some remember it the other way around, with Julian preferring the americanized pronunciation.
• Keith McKenzie for McDonald's. I don't think McKenzie actually acted in this commercial, McDonald's simply named some Triple Egg Cheese McMuffin Deluxe or other after Keith and showed some of his amazing highlights.
• Omar Vizquel for Willoughby Supply. Of course we all remember the catchy jingle, "We can help you do your homework, call Willoughby Supply!" followed by a ridiculous guitar twang. This ad holds the singular honor of being named by SportsCenter a few years ago as the "Worst Commercial" with an athlete-spokesman. Helping snatch the title was the appearance of being shot with a home video camera from 1985. A small touch that might go unnoticed is Omar wearing a "Willoughby Supply" baseball jersey.
• Romeo Crennel for Donato's. This ad displays the dedication of Browns fans, who would even steal the "D" from a Donato's sign to make their incredibly clever "D"-Fence signs. Coach Crennel's only line of "I love this town" will bring you to tears.
• Braylon Edwards and Charlie Frye for McDonald's. This is a fan favorite, not only for the witty banter between the two Browns ("No, I've already got one!") but for featuring the infamous Bone Lady in a speaking line. I believe her words are, "Woof! Woof!"
• "Shoeless" Jim Thome for Royal Dodge. My memory of this spot is limited to an unshod Jim Thome sitting on the bed of a pickup with his legs dangling. He probably also clutched a baseball bat. Now that I think about it, the similarities between Joe Jackson and Jim Thome are uncanny.
• Rick Manning for Lake Business Products. On the strength of one of the world's greatest jingles, Manning set the modern day record for photocopier-sales. Oozing charm and wearing slacks at least four sizes too large, Manning informed us all of the "Canon quality" and "Lake Business service" available to us.
• Richie Sexson for Mr. Hero. All I remember is a series of radio commercials highlighting your chance to enjoy a free lunch with Mr. Sexson. All you had to do enter was dine at Mr. Hero 1,300 times.
• Charlie Manuel, C.C. Sabathia, and Einar Diaz for McDonald's. McDonald's continues their domination of this list. In case you've forgotten, in this ad, Manuel walks to the mound and asks C.C. for the ball... then the other one... and the other one. By this point, Einar's eyeballs look primed to burst from his head.
• Drew Gooden and Tractor "Robert" Traylor for McDonald's. Drew is sitting on top of the backboard and Traylor desperately wants to eat him. What is never explained, though, is (1) how Gooden came to be sitting on top of the backboard, and (2) why Traylor doesn't simply eat the basket first and then eat Gooden. Little known trivia: Tractor was paid in hamburgers.
• Sean Jones for Chunky Soup. This commercial aired about once, as part of Chunky Soup's campaign to recognize the rookie class of 2004. Basically, Jones stands there and says something stupid like, "I like soup." And scene.
• Tim Couch for Tops. Seeing that Couch is stiffer than a wooden board, Tops wisely chose to give him little screen time. Instead, those kah-razy Browns fans were again featured. I'm sure they bought dog biscuits. Har-dee-har-har, very clever, Tops.
• LeBron James. We've seen King James for Nike, Bubblicious, Juice Batteries, Powerade, and Sprite. Nike, though, has done the best job of showcasing LeBron's otherwordly talents. First, we saw Reverend Bernie Mac proclaim the coming of the Lord and the healing powers of the dime. Then, in the Chamber of Fears, LeBron accomplished the greatest feat in human history: killing a man by alley-ooping a basketball through his heart and during the ensuing dunk, kicking the recently deceased in the face. And now, we can enjoy the brilliance of four LeBrons in "The LeBrons"!

I think we're looking forward to Cleveland athletes' commercials of the future. What kind of silly promotions will McDonald's think up? How will Nike top itself yet again next year? The most disappointing aspect to losing Coco Crisp is that if Kellogg's ever wises up and signs him to endorse Cocoa Krispies, Cleveland will miss out on the resulting euphoria.

First, let me just say that I am very enthusiastic about the big trade. In the coming days, Alex is going to post something about the long-term effects of this swap, so for now, let me just discuss the immediate implications, which is what many Clevelanders are up in arms about, as I understand it.

Forget Marte for a moment. The Indians have essentially replaced Bard with Shoppach, Rhodes/Riske with Mota, and Crisp with Michaels. Let's look at each of those changes, using 2006 PECOTA weighted mean projections:

          age   EqBA  EqOBP  EqSLG    EqA   VORP
Bard       28   .243   .314   .378   .233    1.0
Shoppach   26   .232   .311   .445   .250    7.7

Shoppach, two years younger than Bard, is already a better hitter and has a brighter future. And for what little it's worth, he will come cheaper. This is clearly an upgrade for the Indians.

          age  EqERA   EqK9   EqBB9  EqHR9  VORP
Rhodes     36   4.35    7.3    2.9    0.9    6.6
Riske      29   4.01    6.6    2.7    1.1   11.3
Mota       32   4.62    6.7    3.3    1.0    7.6

Statistically, Mota is probably inferior to either Rhodes or Riske, though PECOTA believes Rhodes to be a bigger injury risk, thus the smaller VORP. Of course, relievers are harder to predict than anyone, based on track record. This, plus the wealth of quality pitchers in the Indians' system (a number of whom will have to pitch innings that would have gone to either Riske or Rhodes), not to mention the fungible nature of bullpens in general, keep me from being concerned. The loss of a veteran reliever is as often a blessing as it is a curse.

          age   EqBA  EqOBP  EqSLG    EqA   VORP
Crisp      26   .299   .357   .470   .276   27.5
Michaels   30   .282   .374   .447   .279   16.4

This would be the swap that has Indians fans so upset. Crisp is a better player than Michaels in the long run, of course, but the difference--especially in the short term--is far slighter than most people think. For one, Coco was overrated to begin with, much of his value being tied up in his batting average. If anything, the rate stats above actually depict Michaels as the better player. PECOTA pegs him for about half of Coco's plate appearances, though, so Crisp has the higher VORP. Unfortunately, more at-bats may bring Michaels' rate stats down a little bit from his career norms, since he will be seeing more left-handed pitching than in the past. Still, the drop-off from Crisp to Michaels is likely to be minor.

If Andy Marte contributes even a little bit this season (and he probably is ready to do so), then the 2006 Indians are improved by this trade. And I do mean just the 2006 Indians. I haven't even gotten to 2007 and beyond. That discussion is soon to come. Let me throw out one more set of 2006 PECOTA projections:

          age   EqBA  EqOBP  EqSLG    EqA   VORP
Boone      33   .260   .319   .431   .249    7.1
Marte      22   .259   .345   .476   .271   20.5

I know the starting third base job is Aaron Boone's to lose, and that Marte may very well start the season in Buffalo, but it would actually benefit the 2006 squad to start the kid over the veteran. Kvetch not, reactionary Indians fans. From where I sit, things are looking mighty good in Tribeville.

The Larry Hughes injury has so far been used to explain away just about anything that has or might go wrong with the Cavaliers. The truth is, as I pointed out when Hughes was healthy, that Larry was not quite playing at the level he was getting credit for. His being injured, however, has definitely called our collective attention to a major team weakness: depth.

I thought this was interesting. Here is a ranking of the top "second fiddles" (that is, guys who are the second-best player on their own team) in the NBA right now, according to Player Efficiency Rating:

1. Zydrunas Ilgauskas, CLE   22.4
2. Steve Nash, PHO           22.2
3. Tony Parker, SAS          21.8
4. Ray Allen, SEA            21.7
5. Jason Kidd, NJN           20.5
6. Mehmet Okur, UTA          20.4

Now here's the ranking of the top "third fiddles" in the NBA, by PER:

1. Drew Gooden, CLE          20.7
2. Rasheed Wallace, DET      19.3
3. Richard Jefferson, NJN    18.8
4. Jason Terry, DAL          18.4
5. Charlie Villanueva, TOR   17.4
6. Brad Miller, SAC          17.3

Of course, for completeness' sake, and because I am contractually obligated to mention LeBron in every post, we oughtn't forget the top "first fiddles":

1. Kobe Bryant, LAL          29.1
2. LeBron James, CLE         29.0
3. Dirk Nowitzki, DAL        28.2
4. Dwyane Wade, MIA          28.1
5. Elton Brand, LAC          27.4
6. Allen Iverson, PHI        27.3

By the way, LeBron held the top spot until, I believe, yesterday. All this is to say that the Cavs have an unbelievable top 3--in fact, the best threesome currently on any one NBA team (so far this season). Zydrunas is ranked 17th overall in PER among qualifying players, and Drew is ranked 28th. After that, however, the drop-off is severe. Larry Hughes, ranked 99th overall, has a PER of 14.8 (which is below league average) and is the NBA's 13th-best "fourth fiddle" (not a horrible ranking, but consider the head-start he got thanks to his superfiddling teammates). With Hughes out, the next best qualifying PERs on the Cavs belong to Donyell Marshall, at 14.3, and Alan Henderson, at 13.8. Both forwards. In fact, without Larry Hughes, the best guard on the team, by PER, ranks 193rd in the entire NBA--it's Damon Jones at 9.3, which is horrible.

Of course, an incredible top 3 is more than enough to get the Cavs into the playoffs and beyond, so I'm not complaining. It's simply that a lack of depth is keeping the Cavs from being quite possibly the best team in the league (and I say that in all seriousness). I don't know which is worse: the fact that (in Hughes' absence) two starters have PERs in single digits, or that players with PERs like 0.3 (Newble) and 2.3 (Wilks) are actually getting regular minutes, albeit in limited roles.

Just for a laugh, here are the worst PERs in the NBA among players with at least 25 minutes played. Even with that restriction, I would be willing to bet that all but one of these are the victims of small sample sizes:

                       PER  minutes
Louis Williams, PHI   -5.2     31
Linton Johnson, NJN   -1.2     27
Michael Doleac, MIA   -0.3     69
Dale Davis, DET        0.2     46
Ira Newble, CLE        0.3    224

Get well soon, Larry.

LeBron James

On His left bicep, The King has two tattoos. The top one says "Beast" and depicts a beast, possibly some kind of dragon. The bottom one is harder to make out, and believe me I've studied tons of photos as well as live game telecasts. After painstaking analysis, my people down at the lab believe the first word to be either "HELL" or "HERO". They have no idea what the other text could be.



On His right bicep, LeBron has a rather elaborate design. The words "KING" and "JAMES" frame what appears to be the head of a lion or maybe a very hairy person. On the head sits a crown and over the mouth it says "Gloria" in honor of Gloria James.



LeBron has "CHOSEN·1" tattooed on His back. Rumors that this tattoo was there when LeBron was born remain unconfirmed.

I also came upon a report that claims LeBron has a new tattoo on His left forearm: "Prince James" (in honor of LeBron Jr.'s recent first birthday). So far, however, I have not been able to find photographic evidence on this tattoo. (I have seen LeBron Jr. at Cavs games, though--he threw one of those plastic mini-basketballs onto the court during play, the ref gave it back to him personally, and then Gloria spent the next ten minutes trying to keep Jr. from throwing it again.)

Larry Hughes

Larry Hughes has too many tattoos to list. He is covered in ink just about everywhere. Unfortunately, I couldn't find clear photos of his legs or the "LH" on his neck. So the two photos below are just a tiny sample.



Larry's left bicep clearly has, among other things, a kung-fu-looking guy and a skull.



Larry's right bicep has someone or something holding a basketball with some text that may end in the word "LAW". His right forearm is covered in tattoos. I can't make them out.

I was able to find an interesting snippet from ESPN.com that describes some of Hughes' designs:

Hughes already had an impressive collection of 15 tats, including Silky Smooth, Boogie Down, Quiet Storm, Magician, and Grim Reaper, when he decided to expand his skin decor in the summer of 2000. At his favorite St. Louis tattoo parlor, Hughes asked his friend Nate to engrave all six verses of Psalm 23 across his torso from neck to navel. To save time and considerable pain, Nate suggested they simply highlight the most pertinent passage. Therefore, on his left upper arm Hughes now exhibits the words: "Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Man."

"Grim Reaper" could be the skull on the left bicep. No word on whether "Quiet Storm" depicts Courtney Brown in any way, shape, or form.

Drew Gooden

On his right bicep, Drew has the words "Bay Area's Finest" surrounding a... smiling thing (?) with a crown on its head.



I couldn't get a clear shot of Drew's entire left bicep tattoo, which appeared to be a word of some kind. I sent these pics down to the lab, though, where they came up with this composite sketch:



So I guess it says "DRU" with the R turned 90 degrees. Maybe the tattoo artist charged by the letter and Drew didn't have enough cash on him that day. And maybe, umm... the tattoo artist was also dyslexic?

Damon Jones

In a moving tribute to his favorite thing in the universe, Jones has the word "DAMON" on his left shoulder. I imagine this is simply a precaution, in case, you know, he turns up unconscious in a gutter somewhere. Then the local authorities will know who he is.

Donyell Marshall

Donyell's left bicep features a Chinese character next to a wispy dragon. If anybody out there can tell me what the character means, I'd love to know.



On his right bicep, Donyell has the head of some type of predatory cat, the letters "DM", more Chinese characters, and some kind of tribal or barbed-wire armband.

And though I haven't been able to locate decent photos, I've noticed in person that Donyell has a tattoo on each leg. On the left, it's an animal (I think)--possibly a scorpion, possibly a predatory cat. On the right leg, it appears to be a silhouette of a man in a raincoat. Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em. It could be something completely different.

Ira Newble

Ira's right forearm features a tribal armband which is interrupted by a map of Africa with an ankh over it.



Ira's left bicep depicts the head of some kind of large-toothed cat, beneath some text which I can't make out.

According to all photographic and eye-witness analysis I have been able to undertake, there are no visible tattoos on Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Eric Snow, Luke Jackson, Anderson Varejão, Alan Henderson, Sasha Pavlovic, Zendon Hamilton, Mike Wilks, or Martynas Andriuskevicius. So that's it. I'll leave it to our readers to decide whose tattoos are any good. This is Cavalier Tattoo Analysis, not Cavalier Tattoo Rankings, after all.

Having previewed each Browns game this season using Football Outsiders' DVOA and DPAR statistics, I thought it might be appropriate to look at how the team and various Browns players finished the year, DVOA-wise.

Loyal readers of this blog are probably familiar with these statistics already, but there are a few points I want to make clear, just in case. First, whereas DVOA represents a percentage above or below league average, DPAR represents a number of points above replacement level (a defined level of play approximating the talent available on the waiver wire). A DPAR of 4.5 means that over the given time period, your team scored 4.5 more points than it would have, had your role been filled by a replacement-level player. Thus, it's possible--in fact, quite common--to have a negative DVOA and a positive DPAR. Unlike DVOA, DPAR is heavily influenced by playing time. DVOA is good for measuring performance on a per-play basis while DPAR is good for measuring total bulk of contribution. Finally, while a positive DVOA is good for offense, it's bad for defense. A good defense will have a negative DVOA. Detailed explanations of these metrics can be found here.

Okay, let's do this. Here's a quick breakdown of the 2005 Browns offense:

               total   NFL rank
total DVOA     -13.8%     25
passing DVOA   -12.7%     22
rushing DVOA   -15.2%     26

It was an up-and-down year. Both the passing and rushing attacks looked good at times and bad at times. In the end, neither was anything special. I don't know what the numbers would look like if we removed the blowout loss to the Steelers; I do know that it had a huge influence. Ironically, the numbers above are similar to those of the 2004 Browns offense (-11.9% overall, -13.0% passing, -10.9% rushing). Chalk it up to a new coach and a new coordinator, I guess. Message to Maurice Carthon: you're on notice.

Let's look at some individual skill position players, since those are the only players for whom Football Outsiders is able to create individual stats. First, the passers (this chart does not include any rushing accomplishments):

                  DPAR       DVOA      passes
Trent Dilfer      14.9       -3.8%      358
Charlie Frye      -9.3      -25.0%      187

Yeesh. Charlie Frye looked so good after his first two starts! His DVOA and DPAR were pretty freaking good, as I recall. But he did nothing against the Raiders and he got creamed against Pittsburgh. He ended up the 38th-most productive passer in the NFL by DPAR, and also, coincidentally, the 38th-best by DVOA. That does not bode well for his future. Of course, we're talking about a very small sample size. Most starting quarterbacks throw more than 500 passes in a season. Hope is not lost for Charlie Frye. Trent Dilfer, meanwhile, performed slightly better than most of us would give him credit for. He ranked 34th in DPAR, 25th in DVOA, and wasn't far below league average.

Now, the rushers. This list ought to surprise you:

                  DPAR       DVOA      rushes
Charlie Frye       2.4       10.6%       12
Reuben Droughns    2.1      -13.2%      309
William Green     -0.6      -19.2%       20
Trent Dilfer      -3.6      -72.9%       11

Yes, Charlie Frye was the most effective rusher the Browns had in 2005, not only on a per-play basis, but in terms of aggregate production. Don't freak out, though. This does not mean Charlie Frye should be taking carries away from the running backs, because all of his carries came on blown passing downs (or were improvised). We should be alarmed about the pedestrian numbers for Droughns, however. To think that the Browns would have scored only 2.1 points fewer over the course of the entire season had a replacement-level back, running behind replacement-level blockers, gotten all 309 of Reuben's carries--it's shocking. Frankly, I believe NFL running backs to be about 95% interchangeable, so I mostly blame Droughns' blockers for these poor numbers. It's worth noting, too (though I can't say if it's necessarily bad or good) that Droughns received nearly 87% of the Browns' carries this year (even more if we take out quarterback runs). I wouldn't be surprised if that was the highest such percentage in the league.

Next, the receivers:

                  DPAR       DVOA    thrown to
Antonio Bryant    18.9        8.9%      123
Braylon Edwards   10.0       11.3%       59
Steve Heiden       5.2       -0.2%       60
Frisman Jackson    3.8       -1.2%       41
Reuben Droughns    3.4        1.6%       56
Aaron Shea         1.8       -1.2%       32
Terelle Smith     -0.6      -17.3%       16
Dennis Northcutt  -1.9      -18.5%       77

The Browns' best pass catcher on a per-play basis was Braylon Edwards. Antonio Bryant, however, was thrown the ball more than twice as many times, so he takes the DPAR crown. Dennis Northcutt had an abysmal season. He was, in fact, one of the worst receivers in the NFL this year. The Browns would have been better off throwing to a replacement-level receiver each of those 77 times. Most of the rest of the players on this list were somewhere around league average, which, frankly, is good, considering the circumstances.

As for the rest of the offense--the blockers--there's only so much statistical analysis we can undertake. In terms of pass protection, there are numbers we can use to evaluate the blockers as a group, but not individually. The offensive line ranked 26th in the NFL in Adjusted Sack Rate, for example, allowing a sack on about 8.0% of passing downs. In terms of run blocking, I think the team's poor rushing DVOA speaks for itself and reflects poorly on the offensive line. We can at least look at what type of success the Browns had rushing in different directions, however--using Football Outsiders' Adjusted Line Yards as a measuring stick:

                 ALY   NFL rank
overall         3.89      21
left end        3.05      29
left tackle     4.18      18
middle          3.84      24
right tackle    4.12      16
right end       4.14      14

Now, I'd be wary of drawing any conclusions from these data. For one, we're talking about very small samples sizes in all but the "middle" categories, since 61% of the Browns' carries by a running back went up the middle. Secondly, runs that went "left tackle" according to the official NFL play-by-play, for example, do not necessarily correspond to accomplishments by L.J. Shelton alone (or even at all). It's likely that many of those runs involved a tight end, the left guard, a fullback, or even a pulling center or right guard. Besides, the difference between the Browns' "left tackle" and "right tackle" numbers in the table above is so slight that we really can't draw any conclusions about whether players on either side of the line were any better than their counterparts. At the very least, it appears that the Browns had better run blocking at the tackle positions than they did at the center and guard positions.

And now the defense. First, here's a quick overall breakdown of the 2005 Browns defense:

                total  NFL rank
total DVOA       6.1%     24
passing DVOA     1.4%     21
rushing DVOA    10.1%     27

On the whole, the defense was stronger than the offense. It's evident, too, that the strength of the defense was defending the pass, while stopping the run remained a problem.

Let's begin with the front seven. On passing downs, they were clearly pretty ineffectual. The defensive line ranked 28th in the league in Adjusted Sack Rate (5.0%). And although the stat is no longer available on Football Outsiders' website, quite recently the Browns ranked dead last in the NFL in "Pass Rush", ie: DVOA on passing downs where no intended receiver was listed in the play-by-play. Meanwhile, on rushing downs, as we know, the front seven was nothing to write home about. Here's a breakdown of the Adjusted Line Yards, by direction, of Browns opponents:

                 ALY   NFL rank
overall         4.49      28
left end        3.80      13
left tackle     4.93      30
middle          4.66      31
right tackle    3.53       3
right end       4.88      27

Once again, I don't think we can necessarily draw conclusions about individual players from these data, but a few things are clear. First, the Browns could not plug up the middle of the field. This reflects badly on Jason Fisk and Ethan Kelley. Second, the difference between left tackle runs and right tackle runs in the table above is significant. This reflects quite well on Orpheus Roye, and quite poorly on Alvin McKinley and others. The linebackers would have had a lot to say about these two categories, however, given the nature of the 3-4 defense, and unfortunately I don't know which linebackers tended to line up on which side of the field. As for the outside runs, the Browns did better in stopping the left end runs than the right. This reflects well on, among others, Leigh Bodden. Is there anything that guy can't do?

Which brings us to the secondary. As I've said, the Browns' pass defense was stronger than its run defense, yet the pass rush provided by the front seven was horrible. That must mean the secondary was great, right? Here's how they finished the season in terms of covering different types of receivers:

                DVOA   NFL rank
vs. #1 WRs      -6.6%     11
vs. #2 WRs     -26.2%      4
vs. other WRs   70.3%     32
vs. TEs        -13.9%      8
vs. RBs          0.9%     22

Unfortunately, the Browns deployed their cornerbacks on a left/right basis, not on a #1/#2 receiver basis, so the numbers above don't correspond exactly to individual defenders. We can say, however, that the Browns' #1 and #2 cornerbacks, whether they were McCutcheon, Bodden or Baxter, did a stellar job. Responsibility for the other categories above is hard to assign, however; Chris Crocker, being the strong side safety, deserves at least some of the credit for defending passes to tight ends--which the Browns did quite well. Some of the blame for the horrible DVOA vs. "other" receivers has to go to the other corners, such as Michael Lehan and Ray Mickens. Beyond that, it's hard to dole out credit or blame.

Finally, I'd like to take a brief look at the special teams. Overall, the Browns had the 5th-best special teams in the NFL, with a DVOA of 4.4%. Here's a breakdown of the individual units, based on points above league average:

                points  NFL rank
FG/XP kicking     5.1      10
kickoffs          4.3      15
kickoff returns   8.8       3
punting           6.3      23
punt returns      0.2       5

It turns out that, while I spent all season criticizing the Browns' punt return team for putting up the fewest points of any special teams unit, I failed to note that the unit actually ranked quite high in a league-wide context. As it turned out, the Browns' two return teams were quite stellar, ranking 3rd and 5th in the NFL. Some of the credit for that should go to Josh Cribbs and Dennis Northcutt, respectively, but most of it should go to their blockers. As for the kicking teams, Phil Dawson actually had himself a pretty decent season despite kicking only short field goals. Kyle Richardson has room to improve, though certainly it was an upgrade over 2004. The injury to Ryan Pontbriand may have hurt the punting numbers a little bit, who knows.

Well that's all I've got in the way of statistical analysis. We may run a little light on the Browns coverage for a while, though of course there are plenty of other topics to discuss, praise LeBron. And of course the draft is only a few short months away! Later, Browns fans.

In response to my recent post The Most Overrated Cavaliers, loyal reader Anonymous quipped, "You think anyone not named LeBron is overrated." Well, Anonymous, I can see why you might believe that, but it's simply not the case. Here is my list of the most underrated Cavaliers, past and present:

• Terrell Brandon. Brandon had the misfortune to back up the best point guard in the Eastern Conference in Mark Price for his first three and a half seasons. After that, Terrell was the starting PG for two years and was an all-star both times. Not only an efficient shooter (.526 TS%), Brandon was ridiculously good at avoiding turnovers (9.55 TO-ratio). By any measure, he was all you could ask for in a point guard.
• Tyrone Hill. Hill is by far the best rebounder in Cavaliers history. At 19.07, he leads all Cavs in career rebound rate. The separation between Tyrone and the man in second place is greater than that betwixt #2 and #6. He played on some of the greatest Cavalier defenses of all time, but thanks to Coach Fratello's ridiculously slow pace, Hill missed out on accumulating the impressive counting stats like rebounds per game.
• Andre Miller. Much like our friend Terrell Brandon, Miller was an incredibly efficient player. In fact, he has the third highest PER in team history (behind Mark Price and King James). Thus it would seem that the Cavaliers really got hosed on that Miller-for-Miles deal--of course, Jim Paxson got the last laugh: he flipped Darius for Jeff McInnis. Who's laughing now, Los Angeles?
• Cliff Robinson. Cliff shares the distinct honor of being the aforementioned #2 in career rebound rate. Robinson was somewhat of a journeyman, but the Cavs managed to wring out the best three seasons of his career. Strangely, the statistics used by John Hollinger (TS%, PER, RbR) rate Cliff as a valuable role player while those of Dean Oliver (PW%), eh... not so good.
• Drew Gooden. Much like the unfounded praise for Ira Newble, the unfounded disdain for Gooden baffles me to no end. We've all heard it many times--that Drew doesn't hustle, doesn't play defense, can't keep his head in the game, and goofs off. But the results don't lie: he has the 8th best rebound rate in the NBA this year, 12th last year; 29th best PER this year, 25th last year.
  
  I'd like to address this notion that Drew Gooden plays poor defense. I am willing to concede that Gooden is a poor man-to-man defender. However, if you probe into the Cavaliers success this year, you'd see that the Cavs currently have the 18th best defense by points allowed per possession. This isn't that good, but which of the "Four Factors" is the Cavaliers' defensive strong suit?
  • Shooting: 20th (.496 eFG%)
  • Turnovers: 22nd (15.5 TO ratio)
  • Rebounding: 3rd (.248 OReb%)
  • Free Throws: 6th (22 FT/FGA)
  What drives the Cavs defense is limiting the opponent's offensive rebounds and avoiding sending teams to the line for free points. Drew Gooden's greatest strength is excellent rebounding. His excellent avoidance of personal fouls is often overlooked. Gooden is 150th among qualified players in personal fouls per 48 minutes, 7th best among power forwards.
  
  Gooden's contributions to defensive success are not obvious. We'd all love for him to be a shut-down man-to-man defender, but the more "hidden" aspects of limiting opponents' scoring, like defensive rebounding and avoiding personal fouls, still play an important part and are a definite strength of Gooden. I cringe whenever hearing that Gooden is an obvious choice to be traded because, like it or not, he's a great player and one of the best power forwards in the league. To trade him would be moronic.

For some reason this list is slanted towards Cavaliers of recent years. I was actually tempted to add Shawn Kemp to the list. Joke all you want, but in his first two seasons in Cleveland, he was a monster. Kemp may have left a sour taste in our mouths with a sub-par final season an a monster contract, but he undoubtedly played at an all-star level each year as a Cavalier. I think this list may be unfairly favoring recent players because advanced statistics like PER and PW% aren't available for the first few years of Cavaliers history. To those of you old enough to remember those dark days, I'm curious to hear your nominees.

Well, friends, the 2005 season has come to a close. And, just as we promised, here is the season wrap-up edition of "Born and Raised on the Cleveland Browns". Right on time, as always! If you're looking for a in-depth statistical analysis of the year, don't despair--Corey's got a DVOA extravaganza cookin' in the tandoor. Sorry to skimp on the introduction, but I have no insights on the Browns season right now. Stay tuned for plenty of Browns posts in the coming weeks. With only the Cavaliers in season, there's a limit to how many times we can defend Drew Gooden or Mark Shapiro. Now onto your regularly scheduled items:

Play of the Year

Alex says: The one highlight that sticks out from this season was Reuben Droughns' incredible 75-yard touchdown run against Miami in Week 11. I hastily declared it the most spectacular context-independent run in New Browns history, and I believe that distinction holds up with age. I find it incredible that virtually every player on offense played an integral part leading to the score: Droughns for his (obvious) contribution; Trent Dilfer received the snap and executed the handoff; Terelle Smith, Antonio Bryant, Braylon Edwards, Steve Heiden, Jeff Faine, and Cosey Coleman all made necessary blocks according to Corey. That leaves just Joe Andruzzi and L.J. Shelton as the odd men out--obviously, they're worthless.

Corey says: Hmm, Antonio Bryant's two touchdowns in the fourth quarter against Chicago come to mind. So do Charlie Frye's two touchdown passes to Braylon Edwards against Jacksonville. And of course the aforementioned Reuben Droughns touchdown run. And unfortunately, it's hard to single out a single play by the defense. The truth is, I don't really have a strong feeling on this one. I'll go with an overlooked play from Week 1, though: a 68-yard touchdown catch by wideout/former emergency backup QB Frisman Jackson that, at the time, was the tying score in the game against Cincinnati. It was oh so exciting, and it came well before any of our hopes and dreams for 2005 had faded.

Offensive Player of the Year

Alex says: For all the accolades Reuben Droughns has received, the fact remains that he was average over the course of the season. Through all 16 games, Droughns amassed a DPAR of 2.1 (meaning, over the whole season, he was worth just 2.1 points more than what the team could have expected with a replacement level running back getting all his carries), being barely beaten out by juggernauts Ladell Betts and Artose Pinner. With no other running back, the quarterbacking being split, and an offensive line that broke down at the end of the season, my selection falls to Antonio Bryant. Objectively, Bryant has the highest DPAR of any Brown this season (18.9). Sure, Antonio did accumulate nearly a third of that total, 6.1, in the final game--but the fact remains that he was likely the most valuable individual contributor over the course of the season to the offense. Take this as a testament to a year of severe "rebuilding".

Corey says: I concede that Antonio Bryant had the highest total production among Browns skill position players, but I do not concede that he was even the best receiver on the team. His team-leading DPAR is largely a function of being thrown to a team-leading 123 times. On a per-play basis, the Browns' most effective receiver was Braylon Edwards, whose 11.3% DVOA led the team. He also totaled 10.0 points of DPAR despite being thrown to less than half as many times as Bryant. Anyway, I plan to present an in-depth statistical look at the 2005 Browns in the coming days, so I don't want to harp on DPAR and DVOA too much in this space.

Defensive Player of the Year

Alex says: What can we say about Leigh Bodden that Corey or I haven't already said 800 times this season? Lost in the hubbub over Bodden's incredible finish was the excellent start to the season at the very same position of right cornerback by Gary Baxter. So, the "player" of the year on defense is the tandem of men who lined up at right CB this year. Both Baxter and Bodden performed excellently in pass coverage, routinely breaking up passes. Mercifully, the Browns recently re-signed Leigh to a long-term contract which ought to let Browns fans enjoy a defensive backfield of Bodden and Baxter for seasons to come.

Corey says: Of course I have to go with Leigh Bodden; I've been praising him to the heavens for a full two years now! With that in mind, though, for variety's sake, here are some other defensive players who could at least earn consideration: Chris Crocker, Gary Baxter, Andra Davis, Orpheus Roye. Umm... that's about it.

Ryan Pontbriand Honorary Special Teams Moment of the Year

Alex says: Lost in the white noise of the Browns sucking this season was the strong performance of the Browns' kickoff return team. The play of the year from that unit was undoubtedly Joshua "MTV" Cribbs' touchdown return against the Detroit Lions in Week 7. Cribbs essentially took this one by himself, needing only one block and a little sprinting to reach the endzone. Coming into the game against Detroit, the Browns had totaled -2.0 points of DPAR on kickoff returns. After the game, that figure had improved to a solid 4.2 (remaining solid for the rest of the season).

Corey says: Ok, then I'll go with Dennis Northcutt's long-anticipated punt return for a touchdown in Week 17. Northcutt had been frustrated all year long by meaningless penalties whenever he broke a long return, but with about 10 minutes to go in the season, he finally got one that counted. It was a beautiful return, too, as Dennis reversed the field and made all the Baltimorons exclaim "Hey, wha' happened?!"

Obscure Brown of the Year

Alex says: Don't take my lack of verbiage as a lack of interest or admiration, because I love "Big Ol'" Simon Fraser. Surprisingly, he only won the weekly version of this honor once (Week 3 against Indianapolis). But Simon demands great respect for achieving the ultimate in Obscure Brown feats: being on the active roster for each game of the season and never playing a down of importance besides special teams. Much like the homonymous explorer, Simon also charted much of western Canada during the bye week.

Corey says: I think the Obscure Brown of the Year has to be Jody Littleton, the backup long snapper, who faced the impossible task of filling the shoes of the legend himself, Ryan Pontbriand. Now, no one's saying Jody did better than Ryan, as his snaps were not quite as picture-perfect (remember the wobbly snap on the game-winning field goal in Oakland), but he did show himself to be a monster in terms of making tackles. Despite playing only 5 games, he finished tied for 4th in the entire NFL in tackles by a long snapper!

Idiot of the Year

Alex says: The only 4-time winner of "Idiot of the Week" and an unprecedented 7-time winner of the discontinued "Cheater of the Week", Ray Lewis takes home this hardware in a hotly contested battle with Chad Johnson. In the end, Lewis's "kicking and flailing" dance did him in--not to mention that whole murder thing. The disappearance of Ray's scant few skills this season may have been overshadowed by the offensive genius of Brian Billick and brilliant resurgence of Kyle Boller on the 2005 Ravens in the mainstream media, but definitely not here. We hate you Ray Lewis.

Corey says: Let's be honest--no one is a bigger Idiot than Ray Lewis. Of course, Chad Johnson proclaimed that no defender would be able to stop, cover, or contain him in '05, yet in Week 14 he got thoroughly and humiliatingly destroyed by a Mr. Leigh Bodden. Then, there are the multitudes of Idiots who are better known as "NFL analysts", the CBS variety of which repeatedly incurred our wrath throughout the season. So I guess I'll let Johnson, CBS, and Lewis share this award. May you all be very happy together.

And now what you've all been waiting for...

"Born and Raised on the Cleveland Browns" of the Year

It was an up-and-down year for our beloved boys in brown, but that was not the case for us here at the Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times. Never compromising our rigorous journalistic standards, we churned out quality "Born and Raised"s just for you, the reader, week after week. Well, maybe just once. This year's honor goes to Week 1, where we saw all-time highlights like Corey quoting the lyrics of the original song and some good Butch Davis zingers. After that, we pretty much phoned it in every week. Not that anyone could tell. Many congratulations are in order, Week 1; good luck defending your title in 2006.

Cavaliers Basketball Presented by Cub Cadet fancies itself having had some semblance of history. For some reason, the "return" of World B. Free on November 30 was marketed by the team as a momentous occasion. Campy Russell, Director of Alumni Relations and the man behind Free's glorious return, is now hard at work convincing Brad Daugherty to do the same. Is this worth it? Are Cavaliers fans hungering to see, at last, their favorite stars? I think probably not.

Brad Daugherty, even considering his shortened career, is definitely the greatest center in Cavaliers history and still among the best, regardless of position. World B. Free, however, was past his prime by the time he came to Cleveland not to mention that he was in town for fewer than four seasons. Nonetheless, Free is somehow remembered as one of the best players in team history. He was even named to the 30th Anniversary Team. Given the dearth of success in the Cavs' past, which players have had their accomplishments exaggerated most?

• Austin Carr. His #34 was retired and his profile is definitely heightened by being a television analyst, but Carr is the most overrated Cavalier of all-time. Carr may have had high scoring averages, but those quickly disappeared as the injuries set in. In reality, Austin was a chucker. His PER hovered near the break-even point of 15, and his Player Winning Percentages demonstrate that he was below average both offensively and defensively. Throw in that he's one of the worst rebounders in Cavaliers history, and you have yourself a worse than average role player feigning stardom.
• Nate Thurmond. The long and the short of it is that Nate Thurmond didn't play enough to be considered a Cavaliers great. Dajuan Wagner, the iron man himself, has played more minutes in a Cleveland uniform than Thurmond. And to say that Thurmond was on the decline would be like saying that Slyman's is just okay. Andrew Declercq was more successful as a Cavalier than Nate.
• Bobby "Bingo" Smith. Smith might be the most average player ever to suit up for the Cavaliers. It's kind of remarkable how long he maintained his mediocrity. There's something to be said for longevity, but not enough for Bingo to be included in any all-time greats list. If durability is all it takes to gain notoriety, get ready for Brook Jacoby Day at Jacobs Field.
• World B. Free. One of the all-time best ball hogs, World was actually a very good scorer. It's his defense that puts him on this list. Michael Reghi recently joked that coach George Karl pleaded with Free to at least pretend he was playing defense. The statistics back it up, as World's above average offensive numbers are more than neutralized by terrible defense. His assist and rebound rates suck too.
• Ira Newble. True, he's only been in Cleveland for little more than two seasons now, but believe me, even if Ira were the greatest individual defender in Cavaliers history (which he's not) his negative contributions offensively would balance the ledger. Newble might be the most harmful Cavalier in history. Other players have definitely been worse (Greg Dreiling and Ryan Stack come to mind), but none of those others have been afforded the minutes given to Newble. It's a crime that Newble isn't reviled in Northeast Ohio.
  
  (Oh, and about his so-called expertise in the area of defense, I see no evidence to back up those claims. His Defensive Ratings for both seasons in Cleveland are worse than average. His defensive +/- for the past two years are average at best. If you claim not to put much stock in statistics, then just watch Ira Newble play defense during the next Cavaliers game. I detect absolutely no difference between his play on the defensive end and that of say, Luke Jackson. Ira's man gets open shots and drives to the basket like anyone else. I'm sorry that this post has devolved into Newble-hatred, but I feel strongly about this. For LeBron's sake, if Ira had enough minutes, his 2.6 PER would be the worst in the entire NBA!)

It's a little unfair to pick on the Cavs for over-promoting their underwhelming history, because every team likes to capitalize on the past. The Cavaliers are simply unlucky enough to have about zero legacy. Still, this isn't only an indictment of the team--although their jersey number-retiring criteria border on the insane--but also of the fans. World B. Free is remembered as one of the best, and Nate Thurmond as the catalyst of the Miracle of Richfield. Instead, we should focus on the unsung heroes of Cavalier-lore, like Tyrone Hill, Terell Brandon, and Andre Miller. That last sentence was really depressing to type.

Hooray, a win! And just like that, the season is over. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that we were gearing up for the start of the Clint Stickdorn era?

I predicted the Ravens to win, but the truth is, the Browns had a lot going for them. For one, they simply refuse to lose in Week 17. You'd have to go all the way back like a million years, to 2001, to find the last time the Browns didn't win their regular season finale. Secondly, they have shown a tendency to do the opposite of what I predict. That's been well-covered in this space already. Thirdly, the team is guaranteed to win when I attend the game. The Browns and I are currently 7-0, dating back to Week 17 of 2002. So you have me to thank, in more ways than one.

Now we can begin to think about next season. As it stands, as far as I can tell, the Browns will draft in the #12 position. That puts them way out of the D'Brickashaw Ferguson derby, much to my crippling disappointment. Also, despite ending the season with the same record as Baltimore, the Browns technically finish in last place in the division, meaning we still get to play Houston and the Jets next year, instead of Tennessee and Buffalo.

But that's a discussion for another day. Here we go with the best and worst from the 2005 season finale:

Play of the Week

Alex says: Corey and I are going to have to come up with four different spiels about Dennis Northcutt's punt return for a touchdown. So, here goes: of course, it was a masterful return by Northcutt, I especially enjoyed the reversing of the field. But that was probably the most obvious aspect of the play. What may have gone unseen were excellent blocks, in order, by Corey McIntyre, Lee Suggs, and Frisman Jackson--all setting up said reversing. You also may have noticed Northcutt bowing in the endzone. What you missed was Frisman Jackson jumping clean over his head mid-bow.

Corey says: Indeed, I will also select Dennis Northcutt's long-awaited punt return for a touchdown. The crowd at Cleveland Browns Stadium went absolutely banoodles as soon as Dennis had only the punter left to beat. I know I've said this before, but it's been a while so I'll just fantasize about what could have been, if all of Northcutt's punt returns that were called back due to penalties had counted. Hey, the Browns might have won a couple extra games!

Player of the Week

Alex says: The defense deserves credit for garnering the win this week, and it was a team effort. Kyle Boller, however, appeared so afraid of the newly re-signed Leigh Bodden that the Ravens refused to test him. For almost the entirety of the game, Bodden blanketed #2 receiver Randy Hymes, who only shows up in the statbook for having "tackled" Brian "Bryan" Russell on his second interception and a false start penalty. Speaking of Russell, I was originally planning to name him my Player of the Week, but thought better of it. The two picks are nice but they're essentially just padding his stats. If Russell had simply knocked down Boller's final 4th-down heave instead of reeling it in, the Browns would have stood to gain 38 yards in field position.

Corey says: I'd go with Leigh Bodden too, but I don't want this entire article to read like a broken record. How about Antonio Bryant, who totaled 123 yards receiving, including a touchdown in the back of the endzone? Perhaps Antonio's greatest statistic on Sunday was his 75% catch percentage, as only three of his passes fell incomplete. And one of those three was a near-catch on the sideline that was challenged by Romeo Crennel but upheld. Bryant also made a tackle, ending the crazy lateral play that followed one of Charlie's interceptions. Bryant might have actually been credited with a forced fumble on that play, if the officials hadn't ruled Chad Williams' knee down.

Quote of the Week

Alex says:

"Well, I don't think you could just look at just one game and say, 'That's Antonio Bryant.' You know, because you look at every game, one thing about me: I don't take many plays off. You know, you can go back and watch film after film after film. 24 years old. I play every snap if I have to. I'm an energetic person; I have to be involved." --Antonio Bryant

All of this, and it goes on a for a bit longer too, was in response to the question: Do you think a game like this could make a statement and show the front office that you want and deserve to be back here? I sure wish Bryant was invited to do more press conferences. Anyway, I am surprised a professional athlete would actually answer this softball question with the intelligent and right answer--hopefully the Browns front office isn't stupid enough to judge a player only on his last game.

Corey says:

"[The Browns] took the energy that it required to take advantage of whatever momentum swings there were." --Offensive genius Brian Billick

This quote sounds almost Butch Davisian in its deflection of blame. I don't like this talk of momentum swings. As if one team was out-playing its opponent, everything was going fine, and then wham--an eerie breeze sweeps through the stadium and suddenly they are powerless to stop the other team. Can we not simply say that the Ravens played better than the Browns in the first half, but then the Browns played better in the second half?

Ryan Pontbriand Honorary Special Teams Moment of the Week

Alex says: Surprise! It's Dennis Northcutt's punt return for a touchdown! Just re-read my "Play of the Week"; I don't have anything else to say about this one.

Corey says: Neither do I, even though this was clearly the special teams moment of the week, if not the season. Actually, what was truly amazing was the fact that Northcutt almost repeated the feat on his very next punt return. He picked up 16 yards before being tripped up by what was essentially the last Baltimoron who could have stopped Dennis from going all the way. That would have been truly remarkable. If Northcutt had gotten a few lucky breaks this year--for example, on a few meaningless penalties--he could easily have broken the NFL record of 4 punt return touchdowns in a season.

Bob Buczkowski Memorial Obscure Brown of the Week

Alex says: With a veritable all-star cast of Obscure Browns to choose from, this might be the most difficult selection of the season. Do I go with tight end Paul Irons? Or what about newly starting guard Dave Yovanovits? How about J'vonne Parker? Dwayne Ledford? No, I choose defensive back Pete Hunter, who, despite the Browns' stopping one step short of letting fans suit up for games, never took the field. With the Vegas odds of Hunter sticking with the Browns until even training camp next season hovering around 0, we can all sadly say, "Goodbye Pete. We will miss you and all that Pete Hunter kind of stuff you do."

Corey says: I'm going with Nat Dorsey, #74, who actually played a fair amount, backing up Ryan Tucker. The two seemed to split time at right tackle; perhaps Tucker was ailing. It was truly a great day for Obscure Browns, both for those who got into the game (Dorsey; Jody Littleton, vaulting himself into the NFL's top 5 in tackles by a long snapper; Jeremy Irons, seeing his first real action) and for those whose greatness lies in pure, unfathomable obscurity (Dwayne Ledford--who?).

Fashion of the Week

Alex says: Dressed to kill in my Ryan Pontbriand jersey, I saw among my fellow Browns fans this Sunday other great fashion choices. Probably my favorite was the brown #53 UNCK. Well done, guy in the lower bowl. Great tip: Next time you're attending a Browns game and happen to see a #54 jersey, play a little game: Spielman or Andra Davis? The results may surprise you!

Corey says: We saw some other good jerseys in the stands at the game this week, such as a #2 "OUCH" (there was a letter missing), a #92 jersey with the name ripped off, resulting in a huge hole in the back (gee, I wonder whose name it was), and some classic throwbacks, like the #42 "KIRBY". What a classic.

Idiot of the Week

Alex says: Ray Lewis may have been on the IR, but that's no excuse. Until the American justice system places Lewis where he belongs, behind bars, the streets will not be safe. You should just thank your lucky stars you don't live in Baltimore. Unless you do you live in Baltimore, in which case you should definitely move--preferably to Cleveland.

Corey says: How can it not be Ray Lewis? I mean, I hate Jamal Lewis, Ed Reed and Brian Billick, but Ray Lewis is the biggest idiot of them all. While his team was out generally getting beaten and crying a lot, he was probably out kicking some old people and stealing their social security checks. For shame.

Number of the Week

Alex says: 46, or the average starting field position for the Ravens in the first half. Amazingly, despite being given nothing to work with by offense, the Browns defense managed to hold the Baltimore offense to 6 points in the first half--which included three trips to the redzone. In the second half, Baltimore's average starting field position moved back to the 25-yard line and the Browns held them to only a field goal.

Corey says: 2.1, or Reuben Droughns' yards per carry for the game, his lowest such mark of the season. I have criticism for the Browns players involved in the pathetic rushing offense, certainly--but I have even harsher criticism for Maurice Carthon's antiquated notions about needing to establish the run in the first half. I waited most of the season before passing judgment on Carthon, but now I am firmly against him. He prefers to cram as many players into the center of the field as possible. He only rushes up the middle. He spends the first half rushing, with little or no success, and the second half passing, usually with pretty good results. He's the anti-Mike Leach.



Next week: Don't worry, there's still one more zany dose of "Born and Raised" before the long, cold darkness of the off-season. We'll hand out end-of-season awards and look back on some great moments in 2005 Browns history. So don't touch that dial!