Here we go; it's part 8 in my 10-part investigation of the greatest Cleveland athletes to wear each of the jersey numbers, from 0 to 99. Before we begin, for those of you who need catching up, here are links to the previous installments:

1. The Jersey Numbers: 0 to 9
2. The Jersey Numbers: 10 to 19
3. The Jersey Numbers: 20 to 29
4. The Jersey Numbers: 30 to 39
5. The Jersey Numbers: 40 to 49
6. The Jersey Numbers: 50 to 59
7. The Jersey Numbers: 60 to 69

At this point, we're left with only Browns greats to sort through, since neither Indians nor Cavs wear numbers in the 70's--at least not very often. In this installment, we have ourselves a tour of the greatest tackles--offensive and defensive--in Browns history... plus one really obscure player. Hey, you can't win 'em all.

#70 - Don Colo

Browns, '53-'58

Back when Ivy Leaguers still made good NFL prospects, defensive tackle Colo (a Brown grad) was one of the leaders of a Browns defense that was best in the NFL for the first five years he spent in Cleveland. This was after he'd been acquired in a massive 15-player trade with the Colts (though I'm not sure how this worked, since he played for two other teams in between stints with Baltimore and Cleveland; I'm guessing he went back to the Colts for a second go-round but was traded before appearing in a game). In six total seasons as a Brown, Colo made the Pro Bowl three times.

Runners-up: John Brown (Browns, '62-'66): was one of the linemen who blocked for Jim Brown; 'nuff said.

#71 - Walter Johnson

Browns, '65-'76

Here we have another of the franchise's greatest defensive tackles. Johnson, a second-round pick out of Los Angeles State, ranks third in Browns history with 58 sacks and is fourth in team history with 168 consecutive games played. Like Colo, he went to three Pro Bowls in his career (1968, 1969 and 1970) and went on to be a part of the greatest defensive tackle duo in the league, alongside Jerry Sherk (see below).

Runners-up: Tom Gibson (Browns, '89-'90): played only two seasons as a Brown, recording 3 sacks.

#72 - Jerry Sherk

Browns, '70-'81

Walter Johnson may be one of the greatest defensive tackles in team history, perhaps even the second greatest, but his teammate Jerry Sherk has him beat no matter how you slice it. Like Johnson, Sherk made three consecutive Pro Bowls (1973, 1974 and 1975), until 1976, when he made it four in a row. That season he also won NFL Defensive Player of the Year. Sherk ranks second in Browns history in sacks (with 69). His career was essentially put to an end by a near-fatal staph infection picked up in 1979 (in the midst of another Pro Bowl-caliber year), and some (namely, Sherk himself) have speculated that he would have made the Hall of Fame if his career had been allowed to continue normally.

Runners-up: John Kissell (Browns, '51-'52, '54-'56): is yet another of the better defensive tackles in team history. Dave Puzzuoli (Browns, '83-'87): was solid as the backup nose tackle for 5 years. Ryan Tucker (Browns, '02-'05): is probably one of the better players in New Browns history.

#73 - Doug Dieken

Browns, '71-'84

You also know him as the affable sidekick who mispronounces names like "Jamal Lewis" every Sunday inside the Browns radio booth, but Doug Dieken is one of the more accomplished offensive linemen in team history. He teamed with his predecessors Lou Groza and Dick Schafrath to uphold an incredible streak whereby, essentially, only the three of them manned the left tackle position for the franchise's first 39 years of existence. Longevity, in fact, is what Dieken was known for, besides a sharp sense of humor and an intense hatred for all things Steelers. He holds the team record for consecutive games played (with 203), and is second in consecutive seasons played (with 14). He also made the Pro Bowl in 1980 as one of three linemen to represent the Kardiac Kids.

Runners-up: Monte Clark (Browns, '63-'69): was another great tackle, who blocked for both Brown and Kelly. Ricardo Rincon (Indians, '99-'02): had a couple of good years as the Indians' primary lefty reliever.

#74 - Mike McCormack

Browns, '54-'62

I can't find the exact details of the afforementioned 15-player trade with the Baltimore Colts that brought Don Colo to Cleveland, but I have to believe it was a massive coup for the Browns, since it also brought them a future Hall of Famer in offensive tackle (and sometime defensive standout) Mike McCormack (who, interestingly enough, just like Colo, never actually played for the Colts before being traded). McCormick made the Pro Bowl five times out of his nine seasons as a Brown, and in 1984, he became one of the [now] 15 Browns enshrined at Canton.

Runners-up: Paul Farren (Browns, '83-'91): played four of the five O-line positions throughout the Kosar era. Dick Modzelewski (Browns, '64-'66): made the Pro Bowl as a defensive tackle in the championship year of '64.

#75 - Pio Sagapolutele

Browns, '91-'95

I'm not old enough to remember obscure players from the early nineties but if I had been, Pio Sagapolutele might have been my favorite player. As you can tell, there is a very weak crop of Cleveland athletes who wore #75. Sagapolutele was born in American Samoa and attended high school in Honolulu. He played both end and tackle on the Browns' defensive line, appearing in 63 games between 1991 and 1995 (and starting in 11 of them). When his contract expired in '96 he followed Bill Belichick to New England and started in Super Bowl XXXI.

Runners-up: Bill Contz (Browns, '83-'86): played offensive tackle for four years.

#76 - Lou Groza

Browns, '46-'59, '61-'67

Only three men in Browns, Indians, or Cavaliers history have ever donned the number 76. One of them, catcher Tom Magrann, saw all of 10 plate appearances in his professional career, so he's out. Fortunately for #76, the other two men are Hall of Famers. Marion Motley, one of the first black football players and a great offensive weapon, wore 76 for the first six of his eight years. Lou Groza, whom I've already named the greatest #46 in Cleveland history, switched to 76 in 1952 and wore it for the rest of his career. The Browns then retired the number in Groza's honor. It's a tough choice, but with all due respect to Motley, I, too, tend to think #76 belongs more to Groza, if for no other reason, then for tenure.

Runners-up: Marion Motley (Browns, '46-'53): is still one of the greatest runners in NFL history.

#77 - Dick Schafrath

Browns, '59-'71

Paul Brown had an unprecedented knack for turning Ohio State offensive linemen into NFL legends. Dick Schafrath, who started 176 games at left tackle in between the regimes of Groza (also a Buckeye) and Dieken, is perhaps the greatest tackle in Browns history and, by all rights, deserves to be enshrined at the Hall in his hometown of Canton (along with his line mate, Gene Hickerson). He made six straight Pro Bowls, from the championship year of 1964 to 1969. Off the field, Schafrath made a name for himself all over Ohio, first by competing in eating contests (to get his weight up, per a mandate from Paul Brown), and later by wrestling bears and serving four terms as a state senator.

Runners-up: Lyle Alzado (Browns, '79-81): was one of the leaders of the Kardiac Kids defense. Ricky Bolden (Browns, '84-'89): was a solid tackle and tight end despite frequent injuries. Ross Verba (Browns, '01-'02, '04): by most accounts, was a decent left tackle despite overall team suckiness.

#78 - Carl Hairston

Browns, '84-'89

Though he was known as a monster on the field and an extremely versatile defender (playing end, tackle, and linebacker), Carl "Big Daddy" Hairston is probably most praised for providing the all-important "veteran leadership" and "clubhouse chemistry" to the defense of the 80's, due to his already having played eight great years in Philly before coming to Cleveland. Remarkably, the Browns gave up only a ninth-round draft pick to get him, since, at the time, he was nursing an injury. It didn't stop him from playing seven more years before retiring. I don't know about "veteran leadershp" and whatnot, but most acocunts (and his numbers, for what they're worth--37.5 sacks as a Brown) suggest he was indeed a great player.

Runners-up: Bob McKay (Browns, '70-'75): played both tackle and guard in the early 70's. Frank Parker (Browns, '62-'64, '66-'67): filled in at tackle during the 60's.

#79 - Bob Gain

Browns, '52, '54-'64

We wrap up the #70's with another of the franchise's best defensive tackles. Bob Gain actually came to the Browns able to play many positions, including offensive tackle, defensive end, and kicker, but, as we've seen, the Browns were ridiculously loaded on the offensive line, and had themselves an all-star kicker, so Gain truly established himself in the middle of the defensive line. He went on to make five Pro Bowls ('57, '58, '59, '61 and '62) and help the team to NFL championships in three of his twelve seasons.

Runners-up: Bob Golic (Browns, '82-'88): was generally regarded as the best nose tackle in the league. Gerry Sullivan (Browns, '74-'81): filled in at all three offensive line positions.

Firstly, the prior three Indians games have been excruciating, to say the least. But you really have to hand it to the Boston Red Sox for doing their part and promptly losing their last two games as well—such that as of right now, both teams are tied for the Wild Card lead. It would suck to be a Red Sox fan, what with the idiot fan-base and worldwide hatred, but imagine how much worse they have it considering that the Red Sox were in first place essentially from June to mid-September and now have an outside shot of making the playoffs. But if the Indians blow it for the fourth straight time tonight, you can call me on that one.

All of this will be moot as long as the Indians win tonight and sweep the White Sox. No big deal, do it all the time. There is a silver lining in every cloud, however. If the Indians are to miraculously miss the playoffs, we can all tell our grandchildren about that pesky Indians squad of aught-five, which delayed Cleveland’s unprecedented century of dominance by just one year.

On my contingency plan if the Indians don’t make the playoffs is obviously to draft a list of those deserving blame. My rough draft, right now, includes:

• First and foremost, Larry Dolan, who is so cheap that this previous off-season he refused to sign the free agents the Indians needed. Guys that know how to win like Jeromy Burnitz or Eric Milton. Instead Cleveland is stuck with a rehabbing Kevin Millwood and a reliance on untested rookies who don’t have that clubhouse presence like Jhonny Peralta or Grady Sizemore.
• The umpires, who, I suspect, have been instructed by Major League Baseball to prevent small-market teams like Cleveland from succeeding for obvious reasons. It has long been known that part of Commissioner Bud Selig’s agenda has been to show that small market teams cannot possibly contend, and the Indians are a slap in his ugly, hate-filled face.
• ESPN, because I don’t like them. They may not have influenced the Indians’ play, per se, but I demand more than one highlight per Indians game, even on Sportscenter!
• Hawk Harrelson, for being super-duper annoying.
• And finally, Larry Dolan, for being such a cheap bastard. And Art Modell, who sucks.

If, by some fantastic shift of reality, nullified points counted in football, the Browns would have totalled 27 points in their first game, 26 in their second, and 13 in their third. They would have had a scoring differential of only +2, but, more importantly, a reasonable shot at being 2-1, or even 3-0, in which case they would have become instant media darlings and popular sleeper candidates. Dennis Northcutt would have been halfway to tying the record for punt return TDs in a season, after only three games!

My point is not to say that the Browns got ripped off, or that they should have won or some such thing, but merely to point out how fickle and unpredictable the game of football is. Let's say Frisman Jackson doesn't throw an illegal block, or, even better, let's say the ref just doesn't notice it. The Browns take the early lead and perhaps end up in an overtime battle, tied at 13. Not much would have changed--I would still think that the Colts' offense had played slightly better than the Browns', and that the Colts' defense had done the same--but the result could have been quite different.

Which is why I am not disheartened by this loss. The lone fact that it was a loss does not do justice to the fact that the Browns played a pretty solid game all-around, especially considering the expectations and the opponent. If I took anything from yesterday's loss, it was a sense of optimism--that the Browns have a successful gameplan; that they know what they'e doing for once, instead of simply hoping that those fluky, unpredictable calls might go their way.

Play of the Week

Alex says: The only moment of this game that started out exciting and didn't then go on to break a Browns fan's heart was Daylon McCutcheon's interception in the 2nd quarter. Essentially, there are no other true nominees, be it for ridiculous penalties (Northcutt's punt return), poor execution (Bryant's dropped touchdown), or just general stupidity (those insane taunting penalties).

Corey says: Alex is right; the offense tended to move downfield in small increments, making it difficult to select a single play. I do recall being quite pumped up on Reuben Droughns' 22-yard run near the end of the first quarter, in which he broke like 3 tackles in the open field. It was the second-longest gain the Browns made all day (the longest being during a meaningless drive at the end of the first half). That run also set up the Browns' first field goal of the day.

Player of the Week

Alex says: Human Phil Dawson has clearly come prepared for the 2005 season. He may have missed an insignificant extra point last week, but he's back to his old self again. Perfect, that is. We all remember Dawson's attempt at history last season, and he's up to his old tricks again. Dating back to Week 17 of last season, Human Phil has played in four straight games, during which he has connected on 11 consecutive field goals. Where will he stop? Nobody can be sure, but it better include a trip to the Pro Bowl.

Corey says: I'm inclined to give this honor to someone on the defense, given the perceived quality of the Colts offense, but really, there's no one to single out, plus, while the Colts offense may have put up mediocre numbers by Colts standards, they were still pretty good numbers by regular standards. So I'll go with Trent Dilfer, for lack of anyone better. Trent was very efficient with his passes and connected with eight different receivers on the day. Dilfer knows not to gamble; he is precisely the type of quarterback I want on my team (he's just a little past his prime). If he keeps performing like he did today, I think the Browns will be just fine.

Quote of the Week

Alex says:

"We know that if we do the right things early, we can win this game. We just got to learn to do the right things early. And not do the bad things." --Reuben Droughns

I don't have anything against Reuben, in fact his sandwiches are delicious. Additionally, he doesn't even say something controversial or interesting. I just picked this quote because Droughn's uneasiness at being interviewed rings out. It also made me laugh.

Corey says:

"I thought we were better than the first two teams [the Colts] played. I thought our game plan was better." --Trent Dilfer

Trent is speaking only of the offense here, and the two teams to which he refers are the Ravens and the Jaguars. I happen to think he's right in that Baltimore and Jacksonville both have severely overrated offenses. Whether the Browns' gameplan specific to the Colts was better or not, I am not qualified to say. The Browns did become the first team to score twice on the Colts defense this season, if that counts for anything.

Ryan Pontbriand Honorary Special Teams Moment of the Week

Alex says: The man of the hour, Phil Dawson, receives more accolades! While his two field goals resulted in more noticeable and immediate benefits to the Browns' cause, Human Phil went above and beyond following his first field goal: he booted the ensuing kick-off well into the Colts' endzone. How? No one may ever know, but let's enjoy it while we can. Before long Phil will be back to feebly knocking them to the 15.

Corey says: Michael Lehan has taken over as the special teams' star gunner on punts, following a proud tradition of Mistake by the Lake favorites. In the first quarter, on Kyle Richardson's first punt of the game, Lehan delivered a wicked hit on Colts returner Troy Walters, dropping him for a loss of 2 yards. Containing opposing punt returners has been a particular specialty of the Browns in recent years, and I have high hopes that this trend will continue.

Obscure Brown of the Week

Alex says: Although he didn't get a millisecond of playing time, he did a fine job holding a clipboard and looking interested. My choice for Obscure Brown of the Week is the newly acquired 3rd-string QB Derek Anderson. While I wish he wore #23 instead #3 to follow in the line of great Derek Andersons in Cleveland sports history, sadly, that's impossible given the NFL's draconian "rules". D-Rock is very big, and wore size-17 shoes at age 10. No joke. Maybe the Browns could mold him into a hybrid QB/TE or something, that would be awesome to say the least.

Corey says: I know Alex was probably saving this one for a rainy day, but I'm going with #75, backup defensive end "Big Ol'" Simon Fraser. Like many Browns legends before him, Fraser is an alum of The Ohio State University, which obviously makes him popular with the fans. From watching the game on TV, you can't exactly tell how many plays a guy like Simon gets in on, but certainly he is a regular participant on special teams. Simon grew up in Upper Arlington, OH, not three miles from Ohio Stadium.

Fashion of the Week

Alex says: The white #10 RICHARDSON, I don't really know why I have to choose these anymore. That being said, Richardson has been great for Cleveland so far, exceeding his career norms and totally kicking Derrick Frost's ass. He's also a proficient passer, with his only career attempt being completed for -11 yards in 2001.

Corey says: How about the #50 FAINE, which many people bought hastily after the 2002 draft but which is only now beginning to look like a decent purchase. I understand that Shelton and Andruzzi had a tough time with Dwight Freeney, but other than that, the offensive line has looked quite excellent. Faine is the only "homegrown" talent among the starting linemen and he is probably the one with the brightest future ahead of him, given his age. Of course, if, by season's end, the O-line looks a little more "Browns-like", then I never said any of this.

Idiot of the Week

Alex says: I'd like to say the referees, but refs will always make calls that piss off somebody. So I'll go with Grady Sizemore, who really should've caught the ball that cost the Indians the game. The Indians losing a sure win has really put me in a funk from which I have yet to recover. That would explain why I'm not as funny as normal. Even though the Indians have a near lock on the playoffs, the Tribe's chances of taking the AL Central just took a major hit.

Corey says: Well, I will say the referees. Whether Frisman Jackson made that illegal block or not; whether the Browns receivers were taunting their opponent or not; these are things that take place far more often than they are called by the referees. At the very least, the taunting, I feel confident to say, is something that takes place all the freaking time without being called a penalty. There is a fine line between taunting and celebrating, and it's purely a judgement call on the part of the ref. Personally, I fail to see how taunting of any variety could affect the flow of the game or the performance of the other team so long as no physical contact was made.

Number of the Week

Alex says: As well-publicized as it was, we all know that the Browns have now allowed a sack on the season (4, in fact). But for the second straight week the team avoided any turnovers, which let them keep the game so close--thus my Number of the Week is once again zero. True, TDilf fumbled the ball on one of the aforementioned sacks (and Football Outsiders has us believe that who recovers a fumble is random). But I'm pretty sure that the grit, mental toughness, and preparation of Leonardo Suggs XII all but assured that the Browns weren't going to lose possession. No way, Jose.

Corey says: -46.6%, the total DVOA of the 1999 Browns. I bring this up now because it was only this week that Football Outsiders published the DVOA stats for the '99 season (having previously only released data for 1998 and 2000-2004). Anyway--surprise!--the '99 Browns posted the second-worst DVOA total of any team in any season for which the stat has been tracked (behind only the 2000 Cardinals' -46.9%). I have said in the past that the 2000 Browns, in spite of their extra win, were actually worse than the 1999 Browns by dint of an inferior Pythagorean win percentage. The DVOA totals, however, suggest otherwise and I am more inclined to put stock in those than in any other measure. Now, you ask, just how is all this relevant to our beloved Browns of today? It's not, really, except that it serves to remind us just how bad things used to be.

Next week: We've got just the thing to help you get over the bye week blues. It's a one-time deal, so be sure not to miss it. That's right! It's Born and Raised on the Cleveland... Indians!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago White Sox are now the AL wild card favorites, with a 44.86% chance of winning the wild card.

The Indians? They now have a 52.88% chance of winning the AL central outright and a 41.06% chance at the wild card. They are also the odds-on favorite for the best record in the AL (and home field advantage throughout). Their 93.94% chance at reaching the playoffs by one avenue or another is now the best in the AL, for the first time this season.

Meanwhile, the White Sox' playoff odds, which a few weeks ago peaked at 99.84%, have fallen to 91.99%--lower than they've been since July 16.

As has been talk of the baseball world for nearly the entire season, the Chicago White Sox started 2005 in historic fashion. Taking advantage of a perceived weak AL Central, they acquired what seemed an insurmountable lead in the race for a division championship. However, over the past two months, many strange and unexpected things have altered this division race. I now present to you a brief timeline of these events:

• August 2: The White Sox, holding a 15-game lead over the Indians, march confidently into Toronto for a three-game engagement. Chicago manager Ozzie Guillen flippantly remarks to the press that “LeBron James himself” couldn’t keep the team from winning the AL Central. The White Sox lose to Toronto 7-3.
• August 4: Chicago second basemen Tadahito Iguchi has a nightmarish vision the night before the team’s 4-2 loss to Seattle of his pregnant wife giving birth to a raccoon. During the game, he is hit on the head by a pitch from Seattle starting pitcher Joel Pineiro.
• August 8: White Sox centerfielder Aaron Rowand’s German Shepherd is spooked for an unknown reason and runs up an Oak tree behind Rowand’s house. The dog refuses to leave the tree to this day.
• August 10: Cleveland Indians Grady Sizemore plays centerfield with his eyes closed on a whim. The Indians defeat the Kansas City Royals 6-1.
• August 15: Chicago first baseman Paul Konerko is late to the stadium and misses the singing of the National Anthem because he needed extra time on his GED Test. During the game, Konerko strands five runners as the Sox lose 4-2 to the Minnesota Twins.
• August 26: Having left his favorite bat in his Toronto hotel room, Indians designated hitter Travis Hafner chops down a tree in nearby Coronation Park and hastily fashions himself a new bat. Hafner clubs two home runs in the Indians’ 9-3 win.
• September 8: In the dugout before a 4-2 loss to the Royals, catcher A.J. Pierzynski notices that he had lost approximately 80% of his body hair. In the 12th inning, Pierzynski is unable to tag out Vladimir Guerrero, the winning run.
• September 18: The night before beginning a series against the second-place Indians, the childhood home of relief pitcher Dustin Hermanson in Springfield, Ohio ignites in a blue flame. Just as mysteriously as it began, the flame extinguishes on its own 15 minutes later. No damage is reported.
• September 21: After the Indians nearly sweep his toppling house-of-cards, Chicago General Manager Ken Williams locks himself inside his office for 72 hours subsisting merely off of Orangina and Cashews. When he finally reappears, coworkers note that Williams would only speak in 2nd-person.

No one can be sure how the rest of the season will unfold. Certainly, it appears that the Indians are a better team than Chicago—but we all know how quickly the tempers of the gods can swing. Strange forces are at play, and it would be wise for both the Cleveland Indians and Chicago White Sox not to meddle with them.

I thought the sight of the Browns stretching before the game was interesting. The Packers didn't do anything organized like this, and I can't recall seeing the Browns ever do it before. Notice the captains of the three units (Dilfer, Davis and Dawson) stand separately at the front, facing the rest of the team.



We completely missed the Reggie White ceremony at halftime. Not that we cared.



During garbage time I went down to the first row to get a closer look and this extremely drunk Packers fan was desperately trying to get someone on the Browns sideline to give him a souvenir. He yelled at every player, trainer, equipment guy, camera guy, PR person and security guy who came within ten yards to give him a ball, a visor, a Gatorade cup, or something. When he noticed me standing next to him his drunken quest somehow became about using me, because I was a Browns fan, to elicit sympathy from the people on the Browns sideline. Maybe it worked, because they ended up giving him a ton of those black and white photos they print out on the sideline during the game to look at the other team's formations. The drunk guy gave me one (a picture of the Browns' first play of their third drive, which ended up being a 3-yard Droughns run up the middle).



That's me and my dad.



One of the many nice things about Lambeau: they don't skimp on the meat. They're not called the Packers for nothing.



Ryan Pontbriand, surrounded by all his fans. Get it?! Fans!

Two points if you can place that quote. Myself, I definitely had a few heart attacks over the last two days. On Monday I was at the game, and while there were a ton of Indians fans there, the Sox fans were very vocal, either in misguided trash-talking or reluctant terror at the thought of the mighty Indians. Of course, I heard more of the former before the game and more of the latter after. I sure bagelled a lot of Tribe fans on the long walk back to the El platform.

Tuesday's game, which I watched from home, felt the same throughout--what with the heart attacks--but ended on a low. I'm usually very calm after a loss, tending to focus on the big picture, but this one upset me primarily because of the blown ball/strike call during Hafner's at-bat in the fifth. Even Hawk Harrelson, the most blatantly and admittedly biased announcer in the known universe (and also the worst announcer known to human kind), conceded that the 3-0 pitch was at least a foot outside the strike zone. If Pronk reaches base as he should have, Victor comes to bat with only one out and the bases loaded. His inning-ending fly to the warning track would have at least scored one, and who knows what would have happened after that. That one extra run alone would have won the game for the Indians.

After Monday's victory the Indians' chances of winning the division rose about 8% (to about 39%); now I expect they will have fallen back to about 25-30% (we'll know Wednesday morning). If the Indians lose again in game 3 (and with Elarton on the mound, it's a possibility we must be prepared for), those odds ought to drop at least another 10% or so, down to maybe 10-15%.

Meanwhile, because I live in the Chicago area, my mlb.tv account is blacked out whenever the Indians play the White Sox, meaning I will be forced to endure the misery of listening to Harrelson and Darrin Jackson at least four more times before this ride is over. Maybe I can get my computer to play WTAM and just turn the volume up extremely loud so it can be heard in the other room... anyone have a better suggestion?

First of all, let's get the congratulations out of the way to Romeo Crennel, on his first win. Yadda yadda yadda. I'd rather focus on the other main addition made off-the-field to the Browns this off-season, that of new General Manager Phil Savage. For in today's game, the key decisions made by Savage began to appear to pay off. Big name free agent signing Gary Baxter played for the first time as a Brown, and looked like a true elite cornerback. Top draft choice Braylon Edwards may have only been involved in a handful of plays, but he had a really cool touchdown. The new coaching staff appeared to have coached well, at least in a non-Butch Davisian way.

But there are some sobering facts to face, namely that the Green Bay Packers suck. Just because Brett Favre receives a truckload of adulation as a great quarterback doesn't make it so. To me, this game had a similar feeling to the Browns' Week 1 defeat of Baltimore last year. In both games the Browns played relatively well, but not off-the-charts so. Both games featured the Browns beating up on overrated teams/units, be it Baltimore's offense or the 2005 Packers. Finally, after both games there seemed to be a general air of hope for Browns fans. That quickly died last season, but here's hoping that the Browns at least don't embarass themselves next week. I feel like a terrible fan for saying it, but it's the least we can ask for.

Play of the Week

Alex says: The most exciting moment of the week was Braylon Edwards' touchdown. It was a pivotal play, no doubt, for the Browns extended their lead to at least two scores. But I was taken aback by Edwards' speed. Unlike Steve Heiden, who somehow was only chased downfield by a defensive tackle, Braylon outran theoretically the fastest defensive players Green Bay has. And he beat them handily. Also, unless you've been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears, you'd know it was BrEd's first professional touchdown. So let us raise a cold frosty glass of Stadium Mustard to you, Braylon: May this be the first of many!

Corey says: While Alex watched this week's game from his trusty barstool at New York Browns Backers, I was actually at Lambeau Field, keeping my in-person Browns winning streak alive (at 5-0). The Official Dad and I took lots of pictures, some of which you can see below, and more of which I'll post later in the week. Anyway, I don't have to tell you it was quite an exciting trip. My Play of the Week has got to be Gary Baxter's interception in the endzone to ice the Packers offense after a frighteningly successful march downfield, with the Browns up only five points late in the third. Even though Brett Favre throws (and always has thrown) a lot of interceptions on stupid passes, this one was all Baxter. It was quite athletic. Meanwhile, Favre did throw a ton of stupid passes, but most of them fell incomplete.

Player of the Week

Alex says: You may not know it, but Brett Favre threw for his 50,000th yard against the Browns. I know! You'd think someone would point out a milestone like that. But nevertheless, our dear old Trent Dilfer managed to outdo the aforementioned Brett Favre. I don't have the patience to check the stats right now, but it appears that Dilfer's day might be one of the best passing performances in new Browns history (by conventional statistics, at least): 21 for 32 for 336 yards, three touchdowns and no interceptions.

Corey says: There are some good candidates this week. Dilfer, Heiden, Edwards, Roye... but I think I'll stick with Gary Baxter. Not only was there the aforementioned interception, there was the fact that Baxter was seeing his first action of the season and still played like a star. For almost the entire game, Gary was lined up opposite Green Bay's #2 receiver, Robert Ferguson, who was thrown to 7 times. Four of those were completed, two were incomplete, and one was intercepted. And though one of the four completions was a touchdown, on that play Favre had like ten years to let his receivers get open, and besides, it appeared that either Chris Crocker or Brodney Pool was the one covering Ferguson at the time the ball was thrown. Thus, if you'll permit me to subtract that play from the list, Baxter allowed Ferguson to catch 3 of 6 balls for 28 yards, intercepting one. I'll take it. Plus, I noticed Gary was wearing his diamond earings under his helmet. The source of all his powers?

Quote of the Week

Alex says:

"Like I told you before, and I'll keep telling you, if I end up winning games, then I'll be a successful headcoach. If I don't win games, then I'll just be an unsuccessful headcoach. I'd much rather be a successful headcoach. And so, until that occurs, then I'm not going to be able to stand up here and say I did a great job." --Romeo Crennel

I don't have much to add here, except that Romeo Crennel's honesty is amazing to listen to. While last season we lauded interim headcoach Terry Robiskie for his honesty, it was usually on the depressing side, like saying "I really don’t know if we can win another game."

Corey says:

"You know I had to come in here [Tuesday] on my off day. I had to do the little Watergate scandal and tell all the secrets." --Earl Little

The main advantage of changing "Postgame Quote of the Week" to just "Quote of the Week" is the opportunity to highlight the occasional pre-game quote and mock it with the benefit of hindsight. New Packers safety Earl "Cream Always Rises to the Top" Little was a constant source of ridiculous quotes for us last season, so I was extremely excited when I found out he would be on the opposing team in Week 2. In a mid-week interview, Earl delivered this line about how he was using all his insider knowledge of the Browns to help his teammates defeat them. Looks like the plan failed. Meanwhile, the cream would seem to have fallen to the bottom, since, according to my unscientific visual tracking, Earl did not play a single down on defense--only on special teams.

Ryan Pontbriand Honorary Special Teams Moment of the Week

Alex says: Though he's not known as a special teams player, William Green stood out for two stellar special teams plays against Green Bay. Firstly, he popped Najeh Davenport on the kickoff following Braylon Edwards' aforementioned Play of the Week. If you regularly read the Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times, you ought to know I am always a sucker for hard tackles. Secondly, although it was called back due to a penalty on a certain Idiot of the Week, Green had a very nice kickoff return nearly to mid-field after what looked to be a disastrous return. He and the deep man Antonio Perkins nearly collided attempting to catch the ball.

Corey says: I hate to sound like Gregg Easterbrook, but this bears mentioning. With 11:53 to go in the game, the Browns took over possession of the ball, leading by nine. Running out the clock should clearly have been the goal here, but the sequence of plays went pass, pass, pass. Fourth down, with 1:26 of clock time having elapsed. What?! This playcalling was dumb, and unnecessarily risky. Luckily, Kyle Richardson triumphantly bailed out Maurice Carthon by nailing Green Bay at their own 4-yard line with a truly beautiful punt, and for that he gets my Special Teams Moment of the Week nod. Yes, the Packers turned their bad field position into a 96-yard touchdown drive to cut the lead to two, but it took them 6:20 of clock time to do so. Richardson deserves some credit for that. Meanwhile, on the next Browns possession, with 3:32 left in the game, the sequence went pass, pass, pass, run, pass. The lucky fact that that last pass went for a touchdown does not excuse this playcalling. Why were the Browns so willing to risk incompletions on each of those downs? Furthermore, anyone who wishes to point to this game's stats and says the Browns have a weak running attack needs to realize that (a) teams with successful offenses amass rushing yards not by "establishing the run" but by rushing at the end of games when they are already ahead and are simply trying to run the clock out, and (b) the Browns, for some reason, opted not to do this against Green Bay. The rushing yardage could have been a lot higher for Reuben Droughns, had the Browns played it safe in the fourth quarter. I was quite happy with the performance of the offense overall, because they executed the passing game well, and that is what's really important, but this irked me a little. Anyway... yeah. Good job, Kyle Richardson.

Obscure Brown of the Week

Alex says: I choose rookie linebacker from the University of New Mexico, Nick Speegle. He was tied for fifth on the team in tackles for the day, despite playing very few snaps other than on special teams. Speegle also seems to be a very tough man's man. According to the NFL's Prospect Profile, in 2002, he "had surgery on an infected boil under his armpit" before a game against Colorado State, and "[h]ad a quarter-sized open wound after the operation that had to be cleaned daily. Three trainers were required to hold him down on the table and perform the cleaning while he bit down on a mouthpiece." Yikes.

Corey says: Continuing a theme from last season, I'll go with NT Ethan Kelley: yet another Browns backup defensive tackle to finish the week with more tackles than Gerard Warren (who had one for Denver, against San Diego). Kelley can truly be called a "Crennel guy" as he came over from New England in the offseason. He was also a college teammate of a confirmed true "Phil Savage guy", Gary Baxter (from Baylor).

Fashion of the Week

Alex says: The white #99 ROYE. As a casual fan, I find it difficult to discern the play of non-skill positions--especially on defense. But, I still appreciate the play of Orpheus Roye considering he hasn't quit despite being stuck on the Browns for six seasons. Plus, I like the number ninety-nine because it's like, the biggest number you can wear.

Corey says: At the game I ran into a couple of Browns fans who had painted Green Bay "cheese heads" to look like Browns helmets. Brilliant! Here they are, in their #34 MACK and #57 MATTHEWS jerseys (very stylish), alongside the Official Dad of the Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times (sorry the picture is blurry; I suck):

Idiot of the Week

Alex says: We originally envisioned this category to be like our old "Cheater of the Week" (ie: "guy we don't like") except now including members of the media, but I am taking a more literal approach. The play of Brodney Pool this week was pretty awful. He gave up a touchdown pass to Robert Ferguson; had William Green's great kickoff return voided due to a blatant hold; and was generally bad in coverage. Don't get too down, though. Brodney's only 21 and did at least quash the Packers' last hurrah by recovering the onside kick. We still like him.

Corey says: I already gave you my rant about Maurice Carthon's fourth-quarter playcalling, and since I feel he did an excellent job in most other respects, I'll go with someone else. How about Dennis Northcutt, for his -11 yard punt return. Northcutt is the type of player who doesn't like to cut his losses because he believes he can still break a long play even when he's surrounded by tacklers. But on this return, he tried to reverse the field some four or five times, each time losing another couple of yards, which the Green Bay gunners were more than happy to let him do.

Number of the Week

Alex says: Zero. This is definitely clichéd, but the Browns did not commit any turnovers. (This really should be one, for Reuben Droughns had an undisputable fumble on a run up the middle; luckily it was blown dead and therefore unreviewable.) The true zero, though, is the number of sacks allowed by the new offensive line on the season. Simply amazing that the sewage that was the line from 1999-2004 could be so quickly and completely improved... for two weeks at least.

Corey says: 7.11, the Browns' yards per play in Week 2. Compare this figure to the Packers' 6.19, the 2004 Browns' season average of 5.38, or the 2003 Browns' season average of 5.20, and it becomes refreshingly clear that the offense played a great game. Consider, too, that this offensive efficiency was achieved through the air, not on the ground (where the Browns averaged 2.5 yards per rush). More evidence that the passing attack wins game while the running attack merely ices them.

Next week: The Browns march into Indianapolis to exact revenge on the Colts, who opened a football void in Baltimore by moving to Indiana in 1982 which precipitated the devil to entice his agent, Art Modell, to... oh, you know. We'll be right here to survey the wreckage after the Browns defense gets through with the Colts' puny offense, so stay tuned.

I doubt most of you are aware of this, but this morning Coco Crisp and Grady Sizemore “hosted” This Week in Baseball on FOX. The first 5-10 minutes of the program were extremely exciting since it was basically a montage of Coco and Grady describing the great chemistry of the Indians interspersed with Tom Hamilton going banoodles dubbed over team highlights. After that, the show, well, sucked. There’s a segment about Jeff Supan and how boring he is; the greatest Latino pitchers ever, featuring superstars like Juan Marichal, Willie Hernandez, and Joaquin Andujar; women’s softball; and finally the plays of the week including Ronnie Belliard, Ben Broussard, Jhonny Peralta, and Grady Sizemore.

I’ve never been one to watch TWIB, but I was always under the impression that the so-called hosts would actually host the show. Rather, after the first commercial break the Indians were nowhere to be seen—not even to introduce the rest of the crappy show. Nevertheless, the two absolute highlights of the show for me were (1) Grady giving an interview while driving his car down I-90 from Westlake to the Jake, and (2) Ben Broussard beat-boxing. By the way, he is really good.

Interestingly, this was the season finale of This Week in Baseball. Two weeks from now, there will be a season wrap-up, but that’s akin to a clip show and has no special host. At least Major League Baseball had the sense to save the best for last, as they say. As of right now the clips have yet to be posted, but check out TWIB online soon if you missed today’s episode.

Here are the best teams in the majors, sorted by Baseball Prospectus' third-order win percentage, as of Thursday morning:

           W3   L3   pct
Indians   86.0 59.9 .589
Yankees   82.3 61.7 .572
Cardinals 83.8 63.2 .570
Athletics 82.6 62.4 .570
Red Sox   82.4 62.6 .568
Mets      79.9 65.0 .551
Rangers   79.9 66.1 .547
Angels    78.9 66.1 .544
Phillies  79.1 66.9 .542
White Sox 77.7 66.3 .540

Yes, the Indians are best in the majors, and if this surprises you, consider that they have been #1 for quite some time. This is not just within the division or over the second half of the season, this is among everyone, over the whole year.

The Playoff Odds Report now gives the Indians a season-high 83.40% chance of reaching the postseason--19.25% being by winning the division. Take a look at the top AL wild card contenders, sorted by their chances of winning the wild card, as of Thursday morning:

Indians   64.15%
White Sox 17.55%
Yankees   12.18%
Red Sox    5.51%
all others 0.61%

Okay, so I think it's safe to say the wild card won't be coming out of the West. But look at this--the second-most likely wild card winner is the Stupid Sox! That means the Indians odds' of catching the Sox for the division crown are better than the Yankees' (or Red Sox') odds of passing the Indians at any point during these last 16 games.

And let me tell you, you should hear the Chicago fans and media trembling in their diapers about the Indians. I usually get frustrated having to put up with a local media that covers teams I couldn't care less about, but lately, it's been a joy. The "what's wrong with the White Sox?" talk has far surpassed any "what's wrong with ___?" talk you hear so often in the Cleveland sports media. I want to tell them they were never that good to begin with, but it's ok; I think I enjoy the befuddlement more than I would the quiet resignation. There is plenty of time for quiet resignation on the part of White Sox boosters over the next 10 years.

There's currently an 81.99% chance that both the Indians and Stupid Sox will make the postseason, which means that there is about a 20.50% chance the two will meet in the ALCS. Next week, the Indians come to Chicago for a three-game series, and I'm going to try to go to as many of those games as I can. October is just around the corner!

Throughout the off-season I presented a three-part series forecasting the success of Cavaliers Basketball Presented by Cub Cadet based on the roster moves put together by Dan Gilbert and Danny Ferry. First I examined the hypothetical starting lineup, then the bench, and finally, miscellaneous non-basketball changes and my final conclusions. Well, maybe not final.

A couple important news items popped up recently. Firstly, Anderson Varejao dislocated his right shoulder at the Tournament of the Americas in the Dominican Republic. He has since undergone successful surgery. This all but ends the discussion of Drew Gooden being traded for the time being, since Anderson likely won’t play at all for at least the first 30 games of the season. This leaves Gooden Plenty, Zydrunas, and Donyell Marshall as the only quality big men Cavaliers basketball presented by Cub Cadet will have at their disposal for now. Personally, I expect a purely Diopian contribution from rookie Martynas Andrew-so-vicious. Brian Windhorst is throwing names around like Alan Henderson and Jahidi White as possible additions. Sadly, that’s as good as it’s going to get at this point.

I am most interested in the whole “Trade Drew Gooden” movement. I simply don’t understand it. It seems that the complaints against Gooden are:

1. He stinks on defense
2. He is aloof and doesn’t always try his hardest
3. He is inconsistent

Corey addressed this in the discussion following “Are They Improved? The Starting Lineup.”

Drew Gooden may have certain weaknesses in his game that can’t be seen in individual numbers, but in the end, his value to the team was still precisely what his statistics say—worth about 112 points per hundred possessions on offense and 102 points per hundred possessions on defense (both very good numbers). Maybe he did things that kept him from being even better, but he had to do something quite well in order to post those numbers. Say another player posted the same numbers but was observed to have hustled on every play, kept his head in the game, etc. You would probably have vastly different opinions of the two players because of the moral judgments you make, but the truth is that the degrees to which they each caused their team to score more or caused their opponents to score less were exactly equal.

I couldn’t say it better. If a player who “hustled on every play” produced the exact same results as Gooden Plenty, as Corey suggests, it might be better to have Gooden on the roster. Why? Because the hard-nosed gamer has likely reached his maximum output, while if for some reason Drew Gooden hustled more he would utterly demolish the gamer in terms of production. Please note: none of this commentary means that I actually think Drew Gooden “doesn’t have his head in the game.” I have never noticed an inordinate amount of “inconsistency” from Mr. Gooden.

The second important news item is that Cavaliers Basketball Presented by Cub Cadet secured the services of journeyman Damon Jones for four seasons. On one hand, it appears to be a great signing because Ferry inked Jones below market value. At this point of the off-season, barely any teams have any cap space left so Jones had to take what was available. On the other hand though, Jones’s market value was very inflated. Unlike Donyell Marshall, whose revitalization as a long range threat looks legitimate, Damon’s leap from replaceable role player to starter smells funny. His career doesn’t show the steady increase in efficiency that Marshall’s does. Instead, his tremendous career year also happened to be (1) his walk year, and (2) coincidentally, the only season he was teammates with Shaquille O’Neal.

Not to disparage Jones’s long and undistinguished career, but perhaps the most memorable moment of it came on February 3, 2005: LeBron James intercepts a pass from Jones, throws it to Jeff McInnis, and streaks down the left sideline. McInnis feeds it back to the King, who then delivers a thunderous wham-with-the-right-hand over a feeble Damon Jones. It’s even better than the time Ricky Davis jumped over Steve Nash.

Overall, I like the Damon Jones signing. He’s not the all-star point guard some are painting him, but he was the best available guard and his salary, at least for now, is reasonable. I think it would be best to use Larry Hughes, Jones, and Eric Snow in a three-man rotation at guard. Snow is the best ball-handler, but likely the worst of the three talent-wise. Hughes is the best player but the worst ball-handler. Thus you see the dilemma.

I have been saying all off-season that as long as McInnis’s replacement is simply league-average, he’d be an improvement for Cavaliers Basketball Presented by Cub Cadet. Discounting Damon Jones’s 2004-2005 season, he appears to be exactly what the doctor ordered: league-average. Nevertheless, over the past three seasons Jones has shown improvement in efficiency. It’s silly to expect the 2004-2005 Damon Jones, but the 2003-2004 version ought to be passable (hey, he’s better than Jeff McInnis).

Welcome to a brand new season of "Born and Raised"! If you weren't with us last year, this is our weekly Browns recap feature, which usually generates about twice the site traffic of a normal Monday. The people, they simply can't get enough!

After all these months, it felt awfully good to finally spend a Sunday afternoon on an uncomfortable bar stool in the middle of a crowd of 200 drunken displaced Clevelanders. Honestly though, it felt great to finally watch some football. The outcome may not have been ideal, but as they say in the immortal song after which this column is named,

And every day they told us,
That our division was weak,
But we ended our season with a 12 and 4,
And a shot at the twenty-first Super Boooooowl!!!!!!

Okay, so maybe the lyrics are a little out of date and don't entirely make sense, but the idea is there. Super Bowl, here we come! Or, if you prefer, Number One Draft Pick, here we come! Either way, it's going to be an exciting ride.

The story of the game, as far as I'm concerned, was the pair of ridiculous penalties that cost the Browns two fait accompli touchdowns, which would have allowed the score to be tied, at the very least. The story of the whole day, though, was the Indians' valiant effort to try to even Sunday's Cleveland scoring differential. For a while there, it looked like the Tribe had it taken care of. No matter; a dominating sweep of the Twins is enough to make me forget all about a tiny little loss to the, uh, Bengals, was it? I can't remember.

Play of the Week

Alex says: We at the Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times are nothing if not offbeat with our commentaries and opinions, so I feel a bit guilty about my selection for Play of the Week: it's wideout/emergency backup QB Frisman Jackson's 68-yard dash down the right sideline for a game-tying touchdown. I don't mean to disparage Frisman's play (it was fantastic; who couldn't help but marvel at the self-proclaimed fattest wide receiver outrunning defensive backs), but it is likely to be the only pro-Browns highlight anyone will see of this game for the rest of time. I simply cannot ignore Frisman's contribution merely for variety's sake.

Corey says: Fine, then for variety's sake, I'll pick something else, even though I was all set to pick Frisman's TD and would have been completely comfortable doing so (maybe we should have coordinated this better). How about the excellent interception return for a touchdown by Leigh Bodden? Sure, it got called back due to a nonexistant penalty, but it sure was exciting for like 10 seconds.

Player of the Week

Alex says: He made his first start in the NFL as a cornerback; he had two one interception; and he's a Mistake by the Lake Legend. It's Leigh Bodden! The fact that Ray Mickens' hand allegedly grazed the facemask of Chad Johnson, nullifying Bodden's touchdown in the third quarter, is a testament to the stupidity of that one referee, whoever he is. But let's focus on Leigh's accomplishments and not the referee's sick head games.

Corey says: It's got to be Frisman. He had the game of his career, matching 63% of his entire career receiving yardage, plus I couldn't bear to give this to someone on the defense given the way they played. Shout out to Leigh, my favorite player, though. Meanwhile, I'm not sure how I feel about Frisman abandoning his awesome #19 for his old #88 so quickly. Was Chad "Stadium" Mustard consulted about this?

Quote of the Week

Alex says:

"I think we just got flat out outplayed today. Across the board: offense, defense, and special teams." --Ben Taylor

and...

"We beat ourselves today." --Terrelle Smith

Firstly, I find these quotes funny for their contradiction--perhaps it's a good thing that Romeo Crennel didn't give a "company line" for why the Browns lost. Personally, I agree with Ben Taylor. The Browns offense and special teams definitely had a promising start, but that fizzled. The defense was very bad from start to finish. But hey, there's always room for improvement! Right?

Corey says:

"Well I don't think anybody played very good. When you get beat, who plays good? This is a team game. We're trying to win as a team, and when we lose, we lose as a team. So nobody played good." --Romeo Crennel

and...

"I'm disappointed in the way everybody played. When you don't do good, when you lose, you can't be happy about anything, can you? Put it this way: I'm not happy about anything." --Crennel

Nobody played good? Not happy about anything? Wow, this is new. Here's a paraphrase of how Butch Davis would have assigned blame for yesterday's loss:

"For starters, the sun was in our eyes for like half of the game. The referees didn't call any of the Bengals' penalties because they purposefully committed them when no one was looking. Plus, we didn't have a healthy Kellen Winslow out there. And we were sad because it's September 11th. Also, I had a headache, which was Marvin Lewis' fault."

Ryan Pontbriand Honorary Special Teams Moment of the Week

Alex says: Chaun Thompson delivered a wicked-awesome forearm shot to Tab Perry on the opening kickoff to the second half. It not only gave the Bengals poor field position (their own 22-yard line), but it made Chaun look like a badass, which is always a plus.

Corey says: I will select Dennis Northcutt's awesome punt return for a touchdown, which never happened. This had me cheering the loudest of the entire afternoon, providing the first opportunity of the season for me to shout my signature cheering catchphrase, "Wooooo!" and perform my trademark move, clapping. Of course, the officials' rule of the day was "when the Browns do something good, throw a flag" so the enthusiasm was misplaced.

Obscure Brown of the Week

Alex says: Firstly, OBOTW hero Leigh Bodden has now graduated to being a full-fledged non-obscure Brown and we're all very proud of him (they grow up so fast!). Therefore, I shall go with another defensive back, second-round pick Brodney Pool. He won't be obscure for long, but since he's a rookie and barely played in the preseason due to injury, Pool qualifies for now. Brodney may have given up a touchdown or two in coverage, but I'd like to point out the positive aspects of his game: (1) his name. Seriously, "Brodney" is creative and memorable plus Pool seems to be missing the silent "e" à la Jim Poole. (2) He knocked down Cincinnati's Hail Mary attempt to end the first half, and looked pretty stylish doing so. Congratulations to you Brodney on your first professional game and first Mistake by the Lake honor!

Corey says: I'll go with special teamer/blog favorite Mason Unck, whose recovery of Josh Cribbs' fumble on the game's opening kickoff prevented all our heads from exploding collectively. With a name like Unck, all Mason has to do is keep making heady plays on special teams and he should win this honor plenty of times.

Fashion of the Week

Alex says: Corey definitely derives more joy from this category than do I, but I choose #95 FISK. Ninety-five has definitely been an underused number ever since Jamir Miller succumbed to injury in 2003's preseason. It has lots going for it: it's one of the highest numbers a player can choose; it's divisible by five; it's reminiscent of 1995, a glorious year for the Indians (but sadly not the Browns), and so on.

Corey says: Let's go mainstream to open the season. I choose the #17 EDWARDS, a cool jersey to own, at least until Braylon becomes a league-wide star. As this year's ridiculous jump-to-conclusions impulse buy, it sure as hell beats last year's #5 GARCIA or #11 WINSLOW (with the wrong number on it, for crying out loud!), not to mention classic regrettables like the ubiquitous #54 SPIELMAN. If you own one of those, go sit in the corner.

Idiot of the Week

Alex says: More like Idiots of the Week, for I choose the CBS announcing team of Ian Eagle and Solomon Wilcots, aka the Official CBS Commentators of the Cleveland Browns. Seriously, can the Browns at least get these two to carry some equipment on road trips if they're going to be around every single Sunday? You'd think after all that togetherness, Eagle and Wilcots might appreciate the team a little bit, but no. The two must have boyhood crushes on Carson Palmer or really like Skyline Chili or something. Palmer played well, sure, but Eagle and Wilcots were discussing the second coming of a football-playing Buddha. I miss Don and Diek.

Corey says: The official, or officials, who robbed the Browns of two spectacular, hard-earned touchdowns on Northcutt's punt return and Bodden's interception return by calling ticky-tack penalties that could have gone either way. With so many complicated rules about what type of contact is allowed or forbidden in various situations, the refs can come up with something to penalize on almost any play they choose. Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Number of the Week

Alex says: 88.9, Frisman Jackson's catch percentage on Sunday. Catch percentages are heavily influenced by quarterbacks and opposing defenses, of course, but since Trent Dilfer wasn't particularly efficient with his passes, nor is the Bengals secondary anything special (15th in DVOA in '04), I think we can give Friz some credit for making the most of what he was thrown. Here's a breakdown of the catch percentages of all the 100-yard receivers of Week 1:

                   yds  rec inc catch %
Frisman       CLE  128   8   1   88.9%
C. Baker      NYJ  124   7   1   87.5%
L. Fitzgerald ARI  155  13   2   86.7%
M. Booker     MIA  104   5   1   83.3%
K. McCardell  SD   123   9   5   64.3%
T. Holt       STL  125  10   6   62.5%
J. Smith      JAC  130   7   6   53.8%
S. Smith      CAR  138   8   7   53.3%
R. Moss       OAK  130   5  12   29.4%

Corey says: 46:47, the exact number of minutes and seconds the Chicago Browns Backers were able to wait before the season's first chants of "Char-lie! Char-lie!". Trent Dilfer had just thrown his second interception when the Frye-summoning began. I think most of the people were doing it to be funny, at least in part, since they got a good laugh from the huge crowd (speaking of which, I'd never seen so many people at Browns Backers before--they ran out of room!).

Next week: Pack your mittens--the Browns head for the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, where they'll deliver a punishing defeat to the overrated Green Bay Packers. A certain person whose blog you are currently reading and a certain father of that person will be live from the 50-yard line at Lambeau to report on all the freezing, wintery action, so stayed tuned!

• Week 1: vs. Cincinnati
• Week 2: at Green Bay
• Week 3: at Indianapolis
• Week 5: vs. Chicago
• Week 6: at Baltimore
• Week 7: vs. Detroit
• Week 8: at Houston
• Week 9: vs. Tennessee
• Week 10: at Pittsburgh
• Week 11: vs. Miami
• Week 12: at Minnesota
• Week 13: vs. Jacksonville
• Week 14: at Cincinnati
• Week 15: at Oakland
• Week 16: vs. Pittsburgh
• Week 17: vs. Baltimore
• Season Wrap

When I heard about this study, I knew I had to respond. Say what you will about the Browns uniforms, but worst in the entire NFL? Don't make me laugh. I decided to e-mail Paul Lukas, author of the excellent and meticulous column Uni Watch, because, as far as I'm concerned, no one in the world is better qualified to judge NFL fashions. Here's what Paul had to say:

First of all, the survey sample consisted of randomly selected Americans, which means it no doubt included lots of people who aren't even football fans. Secondly, anyone who doesn't like Green Bay's uniform (they were ranked 3rd-worst in the poll) clearly knows nothing about athletic aesthetics.

My favorites among current NFL uniforms, more or less (I'm not big on rankings):

1. Packers
2. Cowboys (white jersey only)
3. Bears
4. Rams (white jersey only)
5. Jaguars (turquoise jersey and white pants only)
6. Raiders

People tend to think I'm nuts when I praise the Jags uni, but I think the helmet is simple and classy, the colors work well together, and I really like their number font and the gold trim around the numerals. In 20 yrs this design will be viewed as a classic (unless ownership stupidly changes it between now and then, which they probably will).

My votes for worst:

1. Bengals
2. Seahawks (solid-blue version)
3. Bills (solid-blue verion)
4. Cardinals (used to be fine, but the new design is a nightmare)
5. Lions (used to be fine, but they ruined it a few yrs ago with all the black trim)
6. Broncos
7. Panthers

As for the Browns, I put them in the middle of the pack. Like, it's a perfectly okay uniform, but I don't think it's amazing or anything. I give them credit for sticking to their guns regarding the plain helmet, and it was good to see the striped socks making a reappearance in the preseason. I've always had mixed feelings about the orange pants. All in all, a solid if unspectacular design.

I happen to agree with almost everything Paul says here, with the exception of my being biased towards the Browns. Paul generally prefers the classic style (of say, Green Bay) to the modern style (of say, Denver). In fact, I think, if I were really trying hard to be objective, I would rank Green Bay as my favorite NFL jersey as well. If you think about it though, Green Bay's and Cleveland's uniform are quite similar. They share a basic design--a design that nearly every team used to share--with only the colors switched, and the helmet logo removed, which, as Mr. Lukas says, is a positive feature of the Browns' look.

On a more specific note, I would like to devote a disproportionally large amount of space to discussing a topic that interests me greatly: the Browns' socks. Bear with me, this is going to get technical, but it will have a point, eventually. Here is a detailed history of Cleveland Browns sock fashion, 1999-present:

From the rebirth of the franchise in '99 until October of '02, they had only two uniform combos: white jerseys/white pants, and brown jerseys/white pants. With the former they wore the same quintuple-striped socks they'd always worn with white jerseys (brown-orange-brown-orange-brown), and with the latter they wore a style of sock extremely similar to the one they'd always worn with brown jerseys (all brown on top, then stripes of white-orange-white-orange-white-brown). Here and here are examples of the two styles.

The 2002 season, though, saw the introduction of the horribly ugly orange jerseys, which, for some reason, brought new socks with them. These socks were all brown, as seen here. For the remainder of the '02 season, the Browns toyed with different combinations, trying out the all-brown socks with all three jersey colors, eventually settling on a pattern of wearing the new socks with brown or orange jerseys, and traditional quintuple-striped socks with white jerseys.

In 2003, however, a number of changes occurred. The team brought back the orange pants of the 70's. They also changed the vertical stripes on the side of the pants (previously orange-brown-orange; now either brown-orange-brown, brown-white-orange-white-brown, or brown-white-brown, depending on the jersey/pants combo). And while they continued to sport the classic, quintuple-striped socks on days when they wore orange pants with white jerseys, they adopted the all-brown socks for all other combinations (including orange pants with brown jerseys, weirdly enough).

Now this irked me greatly. They had more or less abandoned the classic, striped socks that they'd worn for 57 years. If ever there was an example of change for the sake of change, this was it. What makes the Browns uniform great is its refusal to change! Besides, the all-brown socks are a hundred times uglier than the striped ones, from a purely aesthetic perspective.

The sock usage pattern of 2003 held for all of 2004. This year however, as Paul Lukas so correctly points out, the Browns went back to the striped socks for all four of their preseason games! Now, because they were also wearing the white jerseys for all four of those games, we don't yet know whether the all-brown sock experiment is completely over, or if the all-brown socks will still be worn with brown or orange jerseys, as was the case for the second half of 2002. I hope beyond hope that the former is the case, though it doesn't seem likely. One thing's for sure: we won't get our answer in Week 1, since the Browns will be wearing white jerseys. How do I know this? The Bengals website is kind enough to tell us what hideous uniform combination they will be wearing, which, this week, is black-on-white. Thus, white jerseys for the Browns.

So, what is my ultimate Browns uniform usage pattern? Unlike Paul, who is ambivalent, I am completely in favor of the orange pants, if they are only worn a few times each year. I am vehemently against the orange jerseys, which should be restricted to the team shop. For the white jerseys/white pants combo, I would love to see the Browns continue to wear the striped socks like they have this preseason (and I actually prefer the brown-orange-brown vertical pant stripes they have now, as opposed to the orange-brown-orange stripes of pre-2003). For the brown jerseys/white pants combo, I would like to see the team revert to the socks of 1999-2002. And for the white jerseys/orange pants combo, keep it the way it's always been. I could do without the brown jerseys/orange pants combo altogether, but if you must wear it, do so with the socks from the brown/white combo.

Finally, I thought it might be amusing to investigate whether the Browns perform better in any particular style of jersey, pant, or sock. Here is a set of "uni standings" that spans a period from the preseason of '01 to the preseason of '05 (in other words, all the games for which I could find archived photos):

                                 W  L  pct
Brown-over-stripes socks         3  3 .500
White jerseys                   26 30 .464
Plain striped socks             18 21 .462
White pants w/ B-O-B stripe     10 13 .435
White pants w/ O-B-O stripe     15 21 .417
All-brown socks                 15 25 .375
Brown jerseys                    9 16 .360
White pants w/ B-W-O-W-B stripe  5  9 .357
Orange jerseys                   1  3 .250
Orange pants                     1  6 .143

Not much of a sample size, I admit. Let's not draw any conclusions (other than "the Browns suck").

Well, that's all. I promise not to talk about socks or pants stripes for a long time. A huge thanks to Paul Lukas for offering me his opinions and writing such a great column. Kickoff is only two days away, Browns fans!

The trials of moving and the ultimate vindication of having a working Internet connection have led me, for some strange reason, to thinking about misguided expectations. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected that six pairs of socks would be sufficient for an entire year. Nevertheless, I press on.

Seeing as this is a sports ‘blog (and not a socks one), I’m contractually obligated to relate this to either the Indians, Browns, or Cavaliers. I’ll choose Indians, since it is so gosh darn timely.

The Indians have suffered for the past few seasons from these same misguided expectations. I don’t mean to suggest that the Indians were misguided, but instead that the mainstream media and by extension their drones, the fans, were. During Spring Training 2003 Ben Broussard and Travis Hafner were popularly seen as interchangeable and competing for a starting spot. Hafner is now Pronk and Ben Broussard is the guy beat-boxing behind Coco Crisp.

When Mark Shapiro punk’d the Montreal Expositions six ways to Sunday for Bartolo Colon, the public consensus was that Brandon Phillips was the prize, Clifton Phifer Lee was a wait-and-see pitching prospect, and Grady Sizemore was a notch below if not a dreaded “minor leaguer.” Grady is now a local star, Cliff has a lot of wins, whatever that’s worth, and Brandon is waiting tables at Yours Truly on Chagrin Boulevard.

Flashback to Spring Training 2005, shortstop-cum-second baseman-cum-waiter Brandon Phillips and Jhonny Peralta were in a Broussard-Hafnerian competition to be this year’s starting shortstop. Peralta had the edge all along and now is making the fans go banoodles.

Which leads me to a few expectations fans are revving up for this off-season.

• If the Indians lose Bob Wickman the bullpen will revert back to its early-2004 form. Corey and I were exasperated by the arguments about Wickman and his magic closer powers in the comments of a recent post, but believe you me, Wickman is nothing special. I repeat, Bob Wickman is overrated. Laughably so. Eric Wedge and Mark Shapiro can choose from quality relievers like David Riske, Rafael Betancourt, Matt Miller, Arthur Rhodes, or Fernando Cabrera if need be. Or, they could do the correct thing and do away with “closers.”
• Jeremy Sowers is not ready for the majors. Poppy-cock, my good sir. He has been demolishing the minors all season long. I don’t put much stock into “seasoning,” either a player is talented enough to be in the major leagues or not. Sowers has a 2.05 ERA in AA and AAA this year with 7.57 K/9 and 1.02 BB/9. Next.
• Larry Dolan is so cheap. (How cheap is he?) He’s so cheap that the Indians will never be able to go deep into the playoffs! Wrong again, dear. The young core is locked up: Pronk is locked up through 2008. VMart is through 2009 with a team option for 2010. C.C. is signed through 2008. Jhonny Awesomestix and Grady ought not to be arbitration eligible for at least two seasons... I think. This stuff is too confusing. Anyways, even if the Indians lose a big name guy like say, Cliff Lee, all that talent coming through the pipelines of Buffalo and Akron will make us forget. Travis Hafner is better than Jim Thome right now, and may not reach Thome’s 2002 but is stride-for-stride otherwise.

Rest assured, the future of the Cleveland Indians ball club is in more than qualified hands. In fact, the scariest scenario is if Mark Shapiro were hired away by a bigger market. Shapiro honestly is the biggest non-deity asset Cleveland sports has right now. Thankfully, I have yet to hear a single rumor of the sort, so we’re left to ponder things like a Wickmanless Tribe.

Oh, and by the way, Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times favorite Craphonso Thorpe was cut by Kansas City, opening up the possibility of a Frye to Craphonso connection. However, before Phil Savage got the memo, the Chefs stashed good-ol’ Crappy on their practice squad. No worries though, the Browns now have offensive lineman Atlas Herrion on their squad.

The Browns looked awfully good in their bruising victory over Bears Football Presented by Bank One™ on Thursday night. I had the pleasure of watching from the stands at Soldier Field and would simply like to point out that, preseason or no, the Browns are on a four-game win streak when I am present in the flesh--a streak that goes back to the playoff-clinching game against Atlanta at the end of the 2002 season. I know it may come as a shock to hear that the Browns have actually won four games since then, but that's why we have the preseason.

My friend Shannon, despite alleged Bears allegiances, was nice enough to bring a camera so I could share with you a couple of images from behind the Browns bench:



Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times demigod Ryan Pontbriand had himself a preseason masterpiece for the ages; his long snapping was so perfect I definitely saw Bears fans weeping in jealousy. Also, I believe I have now been closer to my brother's hero than Alex himself ever has. Of course, Alex met Andra Davis and Jamir Howerton one time, so perhaps we're even.



Here we see the defense lined up for a play late in the fourth quarter. For a number of the guys in this photo, it was one of the last snaps of the year. The only Browns player whose identity I can be sure of from the photographic evidence is the right inside linebacker (the guy furthest to the left), who is definitely blog favorite Mason Unck. At this point, his chances of making the roster are pretty good, I'd say.



Here, the starting O-line (in order: Andruzzi, Coleman, Faine, Shelton, Tucker) and Coach Crennel discuss the proper way to garnish a hot dog. Honestly, these five stood together in the exact same spot for the entire game (when they weren't playing). If they can block defensive ends like they can block my view, the Browns are in for a winning season! Hi-yooo!

Shannon also captured a neat little video of Human Phil Dawson practicing his kicks about four feet in front of us. I had hoped to make it available as part of this write-up in case anyone wanted to see it, but Alex will need to host it on his other server. When he gets that taken care of, I guess he'll add a link in here somewhere. The ball is in your court, Brohaim.

[Alex says: I have successfully removed the ball from my court. You can now happily watch Corey's video. I heartfeltedly apologize to you, the reader, for my extended absence. I am currently moving back to school and the internet connection in my room won't connect my computer to the internet. Don't worry though, I'll return shortly, I promise.]

In eight days the regular season begins, upon which you can expect the first "Born and Raised on the Cleveland Browns" of the year, complete with wacky, zany, insightful, wacky analysis--and a free motorcycle to the first 100 readers! We're seriosuly going to take "Born and Raised" to totally new levels in 2005. Or not. Stay tuned.

As you may be aware, the Indians' minor league teams tend to dominate. Last year, three Tribe affiliates won their respective championships. The 2005 minor league seasons are all close to finishing, and, no surprise, there is playoff baseball on the schedule in Buffalo, Akron, and Kinston. This led me to wonder just how good was the Cleveland farm system overall. I decided to compile all-farm-system standings.

These standings include classes AAA, AA, High A, and A. They don't include short season A-ball or rookie ball. That means the Indians' ranking, for example, is determined by Buffalo, Akron, Kinston and Lake County. The first set of standings is total wins and losses, straight-up, as of the morning of September 1st:

                  W   L   pct.
 1. Indians      303 241 .5570
 2. Tigers       300 240 .5556
 3. A's          294 250 .5404
 4. Giants       289 252 .5342
 5. Orioles      286 258 .5257
 6. White Sox    280 256 .5224
 7. Marlins      279 256 .5215
 8. Blue Jays    282 262 .5184
 9. Cubs         276 258 .5169
10. Twins        278 261 .5158
11. Diamondbacks 279 265 .5129
12. Astros       277 266 .5101
13. Yankees      274 264 .5093
14. Pirates      274 266 .5074
15. Red Sox      274 267 .5065
16. Cardinals    273 270 .5028
17. Royals       274 272 .5018
18. Rockies      271 270 .5009
19. Dodgers      266 266 .5000
20. Mets         268 270 .4981
21. Angels       267 277 .4908
22. Rangers      266 279 .4881
23. Mariners     280 294 .4878
24. Padres       256 284 .4741
25. Braves       248 290 .4610
26. Brewers      246 291 .4581
27. Devil Rays   246 295 .4548
28. Nationals    242 296 .4498
29. Reds         233 300 .4371
30. Phillies     223 318 .4122

The Indians are on top! I also did a set of standings that weighted each affiliate's winning percentage equally (instead of counting up win/loss totals) to adjust for the fact that not all teams in all leagues have played the same number of games, but those standings come out pretty much the same so I won't waste space with them here. By the way, if you wanted to compile all-organization standings like these (ie: also including major league teams), the Indians would still come out on top.

Just for fun, the next set of standings is weighted so that triple-A success counts for more than double-A success, which counts for more than single-A, etc. I thought this might be interesting as a way of seeing which organizations' farm systems were not only successful but closesr to helping at the major league level. I've employed a weight ratio of 4:3:2:1 for the four minor league classes:

                  pct.
 1. Indians      .5634
 2. Tigers       .5629
 3. A's          .5510
 4. Marlins      .5357
 5. Pirates      .5263
 6. Orioles      .5197
 7. Cubs         .5183
 8. Twins        .5175
 9. Giants       .5164
10. Blue Jays    .5146
11. Red Sox      .5110
12. Yankees      .5079
13. Angels       .5036
14. Royals       .5033
15. White Sox    .5023
16. Mets         .5022
17. Astros       .4998
18. Dodgers      .4974
19. Cardinals    .4964
20. Rockies      .4941
21. Rangers      .4927
22. Mariners     .4906
23. Diamondbacks .4892
24. Padres       .4715
25. Brewers      .4702
26. Nationals    .4526
27. Devil Rays   .4500
28. Braves       .4406
29. Reds         .4387
30. Phillies     .4295

Still #1, by the slimmest of margins. In case you're curious, in going from the first set of standings to the second, the biggest gainers in percentage points are the Pirates (who move up 9 spots), Phillies (who still can't get out of last) and Marlins (who move up 3 spots). The biggest losers are the Diamondbacks (who fall 12 spots), Braves (who fall 3 spots), and White Sox (who fall 9 spots).

Anyway, best of luck to the Bisons, Aeros, and K-Tribe in the playoffs. Let's hope the regular Tribe makes it there, too.