Like any good fan, I wish Aaron Boone the absolute best as the new Indians third baseman this season. I simply have my reservations about whether or not he is appropriate for the job. You see, Boone is already threatening to break with a certain proud tradition among Indians third basemen of the past eight years: he does not resemble Ted Danson.

I'm not suggesting that Indians third basemen resemble Ted Danson for a reason; I'm simply pointing out that they do. And I'm calling it a tradition--one that I will be sad to see come to an end.

Consider Russell Branyan, the most Danson-like of them all:



Russell had it all going for him. He even had Danson's classic puffy 80's haircut working for a short time. It was Branyan who truly brought my attention to the whole Danson thing in the first place.

But the tradition actually dates back to Travis Fryman:



I know; it's only a slight resemblance. It's there nonetheless.

Most recently, there was Casey Blake:



Casey turned a couple of mere coincidences into a trend. While he is of course still an Indian, he will no longer play third base. Perhaps the tradition will begin anew among Indians corner outfielders.

Now take a look at Aaron Boone:



Not very Danson-like at all. I propose that if the Indians want to make Boone the new third baseman, fine, but they should at least do one of the following:

1. Attempt to make him look more like Ted Danson. This would include a shave, a new hairdo, perhaps some light surgery. You know, nothing unreasonable.
2. Hire Ted Danson. I think he would make an excellent third base coach. He played a retired ballplayer in his most famous role, anyway.
3. Let Casey and Boone share a platoon. Then we could call it "The Boone Platoon", which could make for some interesting scoreboard graphics, I think. They could also use "Mistake by the Blake", or something.

Any of these solutions would be fine with me.