I'm going to dispense with a long intro this week. The Browns lost, and there's simply not a lot to say about it, short of recapping the action. For the first time this year, the defense played worse than the offense. Not that the offense played terribly well. Jeff Garcia gave, in my opinion, a fine performance, given that he was forced to improvise on almost every passing down because the O-line fell to pieces. But Jeff made the best of it and ended up completing passes on the go, as well as running for a number of first downs himself. In fact, he was the Browns' leading rusher on the afternoon, with a yards-per-carry average that now makes him #2 all-time among "new" Browns, behind only Phil Dawson (who's carried twice for 18 yards in his career). Perhaps the biggest story of the game was the showdown between legendary punters Chris Gardocki and Derrick Frost. Both punted well, and while Gardocki's average was a little higher (thanks entirely to Dennis Northcutt's boneheaded decision not to fair catch one punt), DeFrost had the better day. The highlight of the day, for me, was spending my first Sunday with the Browns Backers of Chicago, where they regularly get crowds of more than 150 Browns fans.

Play of the Week

Alex says: Nothing warmed my heart on that chilly fall afternoon like Jeff Garcia's interpretation of Hans Moleman's "Man Getting Hit in Groin by Football," however the play of the week was really the Browns' stop of Jerome Bettis on 4th and 1 with a tackle by the incomparable Andra Davis. Nobody runs on the Browns defense! What, the Steelers were 7/11 on 3rd down prior to that play? Who cares! They were 0/1 on 4th down baby, oh yeah!

Corey says: While in truth I have to agree that nothing could possibly top "man getting hit in groin by football", for variety's sake I'm going in a different direction by picking an actual Browns play that was successful, no offense to Moleman or his classic film. I choose the flea flicker. It was between that and Andre Davis' 50-yard reception to set up the touchdown in the 4th quarter. But a flea flicker is such an exciting play; I wish the Browns would run it more often. Plus, when it happened, the game was still close, so the excitement was greater.

Player of the Week

Alex says: Phil Dawson. Once again, Phil was perfect on the afternoon. I would have liked to have perhaps given this honor to someone who either set up or scored touchdowns consistently, but no one on the Browns does that.

Corey says: I disagree. I name Andre Davis, who finished the day with a hundred yards receiving and most of the Browns' biggest catches. Suggs, Green, and Garcia all had decent games but Andre was the only one who turned in a great performance.

Postgame Quote of the Week

Alex says:

We continue to have some issues in getting touchdowns inside the redzone--getting in there and having to settle for a lot of field goals. We've got to be able to effectively get the ball in the endzone and score touchdowns.

--Butch Davis. I never used to listen to any postgame interviews about Browns games, but now, writing Born and Raised, I've come to learn a few things about Butch Davis. He is a master of deflecting blame. During his post-game interview he makes it seem like the players just didn't know how to play properly, but he never hints that perhaps the coaching was at fault. Earth to Butch: if it's 3rd-and-10, how about some receivers run routes past the first down line?! I am completely fed up with the Browns consisently shortening their own field and not taking any chances long. Only twice during the entire game did the Browns go long, and both came when the team was in desperation-mode: one was completed to Andre Davis and led to a touchdown. The other was incomplete, so no real harm done. Why not open it up more? It's not like the running game or passing game is doing anything at all! Argh.

Corey says:

This team does not like to be in the hole. That's just the kind of team we are right now. We're a team right now that takes hold of the reins and runs with it like some other teams. I guarantee you, we'll be in a position to be in the playoffs this year. That's just how we do it, especially with this team.

--Ross Verba. That's quite a guarantee, Mr. Verba. Of course, being "in a position to make the playoffs" can mean so many things. Maybe he meant that, four games from now, the Browns will be in a position to run the table, salvaging a 2-7 start and turning it into a 9-7 finish? And when Ross says that the Browns "take the reins and run with it like some other teams", ignoring, for the moment, his mixed metaphor, what other teams do you think he means?

Pontbriand Moment of the Week

Alex says: His snap to Frosty on the first punt of the game. I assume that no one else noticed, but I doubt any Steelers got over the line of scrimmage before Frost kicked it. It was incredible. Before anyone could realize it, Pontbriand had snapped the ball, and in an instant, it was gone.

Corey says: The snap on Dawson's second field goal. Why not, all the snaps are the same: perfect. This joke is really getting old.

Obscure Brown of the Week

Alex says: Eric Westmoreland. Corey says my choices haven't been obscure enough, eh? Well, Westmoreland is so obscure he didn't even play in the game this week! Plus, his middle name is Lebron. No joke. That is the coolest middle name ever.

Corey says: Leigh Bodden, who now becomes our first ever two-time selection as Obscure Brown of the Week. Leigh must be the best damn gunner (on punts) in the entire NFL. Watch him sometime; he always gets downfield, unblocked, ahead of the ball. Bucth Davis has been telling us for years that the Browns special teams were really, really good -- not necessarily on returning kicks, but on covering against returns. I'm finally starting to agree. (DVOA thinks highly of the Browns special teams, too. Through the first 4 weeks of the season, in spite of being fifth-worst at returning kickoffs (no thanks to Dee Brown), overall they're the 4th-best special teams unit, mainly due to being #1 in the NFL in punting/covering punt returns. Look here.) Hopefully, I didn't just jinx them for next week.

Fashion of the Week

Alex says: While Leigh Bodden did play well against the Steelers (and all other teams so far), I say his style is what really sets him apart. While generally I prefer cornrows that are neat and short, Leigh's are getting almost ridiculously long. They hang out of his helmet. I assume they're 'rows instead of dreadlocks because they are so thin. Hopefully, Leigh won't cut his hair until he's even outdone Mike McKenzie.

Corey says: Just this morning on a rerun of VH1's "The Surreal Life" I saw rapper Flavor Flav wearing a white, #67 Browns jersey. Immediately, I thought "I wonder why he picked #67, surely it's not because he's wearing a Melvin Fowler jersey". And yet, as soon as he turned around, there it was: "Fowler". Thanks, Flavor Flav, for bringing obscure Browns to a national TV audience. You've inspired my Fashion of the Week!

Cheater of the Week

Alex says: I'll have to say CBS, for cheating me out of an enjoyable viewing experience. I think the proudction assistants for NFL games have gone wacky on trying to add more entertainment to the game. I would in fact be much happier if Gus Johnson would just say what happened instead of adding about 15 adjectives for every noun. But most annoying, here are some "keys to game" from throughout the broadcast for either team:

• "Ride the Duce coupe"
• "Get Big Ben wound up"
• "Sugg it to them"
• "Ben but don't break"
• "Duce's wild"
• "'Suggs' the defense"
• "CLE: Must roll 7's instead of 3's"
• "PIT: Must mug Suggs"
• "Ward-ing off the competition"

Corey says: Alex is going to kill me for saying this about his idol, but I choose Chris Gardocki, for cheating destiny by not having one of his punts blocked yesterday. What little press Chris has receieved throughout his career has centered around the amazing fact that he's never had a punt blocked, and already holds the record for most consecutive punts without a block. Anyway, I was all geared up for that streak to come to an end the very first time Gardocki's Steelers met his former team, but it was not to be. The bastard decided to wait until the next time he faces Cleveland. I guess he wants it to happen in front of a roaring Dawg Pound, while a stream of tears rolls down his face as he contemplates his extreme misfortune at not having been re-signed by the Browns and the extreme hell his life has become since, in a raging fit of spite, he agreed to join the dark side and play for Pittsburgh.

Alex says: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!